


Won't You Save Me?

by BangtanSugar



Category: vkook - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Jungkook Is In Love, M/M, Rich Seokjin, Rich Taehyung, Self Harm, Smol Jungkook, emotional car rides, hungry taehyung, mentions of self harm, muscular taehyung, soft jungkook, taehyung is noticeably taller than jungkook, taehyung is secretly in love, vkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-10-03 15:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10250831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangtanSugar/pseuds/BangtanSugar
Summary: Jeon Jungkook was the kid everyone knew had a perfect life. He was happy all of the time, got perfect grades, and made everyone laugh. His best friend was the hottest kid in school, too. So he had to have a perfect life, didn't he? Not exactly, but it was only his best friend who really knew what was happening with the whole situation. It just happened to be that Taehyung was in the right place at the right time.





	1. Realization

     ♥ ~ Jeon Jungkook was a happy child. He got into trouble frequently, but never too serious. He kept up his grades and was a cute little boy with a bowl cut eager to learn new taekwondo techniques. The dark side of his mind didn't make an appearance in his life until much later. As for when he was a kid, he had a lot of friends and was extremely social. All the girls had a crush on him, and all the guys strived to become his best friend. There was one friend however, that stuck super close to him throughout his whole school experience.

     Kim Taehyung, the boxy smiled, happy boy who always picked up Jungkook's spirits when he was sad. Although they had always found themselves getting into immense amounts of trouble. There was this one time where Taehyung wanted to skip class to watch anime and Jungkook agreed obviously. They took a trip to the janitor's office to chill and watch a few episodes of Sailor Moon, but Taehyung being the "dummy" he was, did that thing when you think your headphones are plugged in and they're not, but the volume is loud enough to think that the headphones were plugged in. About an episode and a half in, they got caught, Taehyung would've ran, but something about leaving the cute bunny boy made his chest hurt. This feeling didn't leave Taehyung, although it annoyed him to no end. After they got punished and obviously got detention whilst Taehyung was walking to the locker rooms for 7th Period he stared at Jungkook walking down the hallway who happened to be keeping a close eye on Min Yoongi.

     ♥ ~ Min Yoongi was also a kid who everyone wanted, but he had more power. Min Yoongi was about 5’11 from what Jungkook had taken into account, and kind of cute? One day, it just happened to be that Taehyung and Jungkook had gotten into a bit of trouble and were both late to gym class. They obviously went separately, but it just happened to be that they’re gym lockers were a few feet apart. Jungkook “accidentally” stole a glance at Taehyung’s bare upper half, and immediately looked away, blushing. _What is this feeling? Why do I feel so… shy?_ Thoughts like these raced through Jungkook’s mind as he felt himself begin to get aroused. _Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit shit._ Jungkook could feel himself start to get a boner. _ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING._ He scattered and quickly put his gym shorts on. Taehyung hummed softly and glanced over at the half naked Jungkook slowly sliding his shirt on. He felt his face get red and his “happiness” slowly turn to lust. He blinked a few times. _Wh...why do i feel weird?_ He looked back over at Jungkook and smiled. Jungkook slid the rest of his shirt on and they both walked to gym.

     After gym they had their last period together. Jungkook didn’t want these next four periods to end, because it meant he wouldn’t see Taehyung. Jungkook sat a few seats away from Taehyung. The last period of their day flew by fast whilst he dreamed about Taehyung. _W-Why am i feeling this way about him? He’s my best friend._ Jungkook slowly twisted his locker combination and took a deep breath. His anxiety slowly creeping up his spine, flooding his mind about thoughts that weren’t relevant. _I- I don't have feelings for him do I?_ He tried taking another breath but he felt his throat was on fire. His chest started to get heavy until he realized he couldn't wait. He was having an anxiety attack. He slammed his locker shut running into the bathrooms locking the stall. The sound of tears slowly falling onto the ground resonating through the bathroom was all too apparent.

     He needed someone. Some kind of sound to hear or something to distract him. Taehyung. He needed Taehyung. He whipped out his phone, tapped on the contact labeled “TaeTae”, and hit ‘call’. He picked up on the second dial.

     “Hey. What’s up? You called me right in the middle of class, I’m in the hallway.” Jungkook tried to breathe steadily through his sobs as he let his breath go he spoke softly

     “C-can you come to the bathroom please? The one in the s-sixth grade hallway?” The schools were combined, since Jungkook was in sixth and Taehyung was in eighth. The middle school and the high school was combined, giving them easy access to hang out since Taehyung was two years older than the sixth grader.

     “Jungkookie? Of course, what’s wrong?” Jungkook could almost feel the worry flooding from the other end of the school.

     “Just please. I-I need you right now.” Jungkook was barely keeping it together without breaking down over the phone. “Okay, it’s okay Kookie, I’ll be there in one second okay?”

     “M’kay.” Jungkook waited And he waited. What felt like minutes to Jungkook was maybe forty five seconds, considering Taehyung was sprinting down the hallway. Jungkook was beginning to feel even more hopeless, but Taehyung burst through the bathroom door, locked it and called out for Jungkook. Jungkook stepped out of the stall, head down, with a hangdog expression on his face. Taehyung took five steps towards him and then quickly enveloped him in a hug.

     "I-I'm so sorry hyung. I never meant for you to find anything out about this. I s-swear I didn't mean to let you down like thi-"

     "Kookie, don't talk about yourself like that. I don't want to hear that. I'm here for you and you can tell me what's wrong, you know that?

     "I guess so..." Taehyung had it at that point.

     "No, Jungkookie you know so. No matter the situation I will support you and care for you and be here for you. Anything that we have to face, we'll face it together. If you're comfortable with telling me who hurt you, I'll most definetly ruin their life for you." Taehyung was at the top of the food chain in the whole school district, the amount of "followers" he had was incredulous. Jungkook didn't tell him what was going on in his life that day. Having just turned twelve, Jungkook was too afraid, in all honesty. He did however confess to his hyung later on about his mental issues, and he was very accepting after a couple hours. Jungkook absolutely despises remembering that conversation, and has basically trained himself to forget it. While they were sitting there on the floor in a huddled mess, hoping that nobody would randomly walk in and see them, Jungkook realized another thing.

     He really was in for a helluva ride.


	2. Therapy Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook falls deeper, and Taehyung has some thoughts of his own.

Bitter. Cold. Freezing winter. The coldness seeped far into his bones. His dreams were filled with fear. Fear that he couldn’t escape from how he was feeling, and he couldn’t. _Run, run, run. I can’t be here anymore._ So Jungkook ran. All he could see was memories blurred by the tears in his eyes. Memories he wanted to hold on to forever, and memories that he wanted nothing but to forget.

     *I see through you, see through you, I see through you, see through you.*

     “What?” Jungkook thought aloud. He came to a halt, looked around, and continued to hear a strange melody. *Yojeumen doeneun il hana eomne na-* Jungkook inhaled as if he had been holding his breath. _It was a dream, you’re fine. It was all a dream._ After a few seconds, Jungkook realized his phone was still ringing, and he checked the time. The clock read 6:30. _WAIT WHAT?_ 6:30?

     “I’M LATE.” _Panic, panic, panic_. That was all Jungkook thought. Although, he did have an alternative when he was freaking out. He reached under his pillow for his phone, and realized the one calling him was Taehyung. Maybe this time he could use his hyung as his alternative. He unlocked his phone and was about to call Taehyung back but he beat him to it. He hit the green button indicating “answer” and held the phone to his ear.

     “Hey Jungkookie.” Taehyung sounded as if he had just gotten up.

     “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to grab breakfast, and we can hangout somewhere afterwards?” Taehyung had been Jungkook’s crush and the reason why Jungkook realized he was gay since the beginning of seventh grade/the end of sixth. Taehyung just thought that they were best friends, and it wasn’t incorrect, it was just that Jungkook wanted it to be more than that. Although Taehyung probably thought this because Jungkook literally did everything in his power to make sure Taehyung never found out.

     “What in the hell do you mean? It’s Thurs-”

     “It’s Saturday.” Silence followed the statement after Taehyung burst out into laughter, landing Jungkook with a feeling of ultimate stupidity.

     “I thought the smart kid had his shit together.” Jungkook’s rizing smile faded, but he obviously didn’t let him know. But he knew him too well. The hesitation in his answer explained everything to Taehyung, and his voice suddenly didn’t sound so tired anymore.

     “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I know how you feel about that, I’m sorry Kookie, I honestly didn’t mean it like that.” Over the years, Taehyung began to learn what things made Jungkook upset or stressed. There were a lot of things, but a few in particular that they both avoided at all costs.

     “It’s alright, you didn’t mean to. Anyway, can I still take you up for that breakfast?”

     “Of course, Kookie. I’m leaving to pick you up now.” Jungkook was about to protest but the dial tone ended up being his only response. _Fantastic_. Jungkook barely had time to make himself look hot now. Jungkook struggled with thinking he really did like Taehyung or if it was too wrong. _Love is love…_ right? It wasn’t like Taehyung was ever going to like him back, so it seemed pretty harmless. Although, not to his mental health. The hopelessness was always shoving him by the shoulders, telling him to give up now. Although, he didn’t exactly want to. Jungkook had a feeling that it’d be alright if nothing ever progressed with them. Jungkook was perfectly content with just the feeling of being in love. Could he call it love? Was it okay to call it love? _As long as I keep it to myself, I can call it what I want to._

     Jungkook liked the type of freedom that came along with being secretly in love. He liked being able to call it love. After he slid his nicest comfortable shirt on, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. When he finished slipping his shoes on, he checked in the mirror to make sure that his hair was neatly messy. He got a text and heard a knock at the door, so he grabbed his phone and charger, a small bottle of cologne, and slid his jacket on. He walked to his hallway, taking one last look in the mirror to make sure he looked presentable for Taehyung, then walked over and swung his front door open. He was greeted with the boxiest of smiles. Jungkook couldn’t help but melt into a pool of attraction all over again. He just wanted to be physically close to Taehyung. Taehyung was probably the most comforting figure in his life without a doubt. Taehyung slung his arm around Jungkook’s shoulder.

     “Hey Kookie! You ready to go?” Taehyung’s voice was deep and silky, and it made Jungkook jealous. His voice wasn’t particularly high, but it wasn’t as deep as Taehyung’s.

      “Yeah, where are we going again?” Taehyung responded with a smirk.

     “You’ll see.” He wiggled his eyebrows after his statement, and ran off to his car, intending for Jungkook to follow. And he did, with a sigh. How strange. _He could be leading me to a desolate location to brutally murder me, and dump my body where no one would find it, and I would still get in the car._ Jungkook knew he’d fallen in too deep, but it’s not like he’d stop now. Taehyung was driving happily along, with Jungkook’s mind wandering off in the passenger seat. Jungkook’s eyes drifted over to Taehyung. He was humming/singing along to a Big Bang song and bobbing his head in time with the music. _I wonder if he’d actually murder me. Would he? Nahh… right?_ Jungkook jolted forward and slammed his elbow into the door. He yelped in pain and clutched his elbow. Taehyung was a beat behind him. He reached out and grabbed the latter’s elbow.

     “Are you okay?” Taehyung was genuinely concerned. The look on his face proved it. Jungkook turned away, blushing hard. He lightly pulling his elbow away from his hyung’s grasp.

      “Fine. Didn’t really hurt. Let’s go.” He unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car, leaving Taehyung slightly shocked. Jungkook had never pulled away from him like that, or responded so coldly unless he was depressed. _Was he in one of his slumps?_ Taehyung decided it’d be a good idea to go check on him. Jungkook was very shy around Taehyung, and he knew this was normal. Although he did find it unusual that he was so laid back around everyone else. _Maybe Jungkook was just like that with people he was close to._ Taehyung unbuckled his seat belt and swung the car door open. He walked around to the trunk to grab a blanket and a basket full of Jungkook and Taehyung’s favorite food. He set them down and walked back to the front of the car where he found Jungkook with his head down, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

      _What the hell, Jungkook. Just act normal,_ he told himself. He was just on the verge of standing when Taehyung knelt to his level, their position kind of awkward since Jungkook had begun to rise. To Jungkook’s ultimate bewilderment, Taehyung cupped both sides of his face with his hands. Taehyung is a touchy person, not to the amount of annoyance, but it got strange sometimes. The only reason this didn’t comply to Jungkook’s line of “Possible End Of Unrequited Love” was because he was like this towards other people too.

     “W-what are you doing?” Taehyung’s hands were warm. It reminded him of when they would watch horror movies together, curled up under dozens of blankets, sweating but not caring. That feeling of being safe. Being home and carefree was absolutely unobtainable. Or so he thought, up until that very moment.

      “Are you in one of your slumps?” Jungkook’s mood fluctuated. Sometimes he was depressed for no apparent reason, and sometimes there was a reason that took a while to figure out, because he didn’t know it upset him. Taehyung could usually tell as soon as Jungkook could, which is why Taehyung was frustrated with himself that he hadn’t noticed.

      “No I-I’m fine.” Jungkook attempted to pull away but his hyung’s grip was firm. Taehyung was a lot stronger than most people gave him credit for.

     “You seem sad. Remember I told you I wanted you to confide in me no matter what? Because I’d always help you?” Jungkook felt guilty now. He shouldn’t be, because it’s not like he could tell his hyung that he’d fallen in love

      “Hyung I’m fine. I really truly am. I just didn’t sleep very much last night, so I don’t feel the best. I didn’t want to ruin your day because of it.” Taehyung looked empathetic, and those eyes. Taehyung had a specific look that would glaze over his eyes when he got sad about something.

      “It makes me sad that you never put yourself first when you’re with me. I know it’s hard for you to do that but I really want you to view me as someone who you can talk to at all times. I promise I’m not hard to reach.” Jungkook had reached out before, many times. Whenever he was having a serious anxiety attack he would either call or text Taehyung. He had always stopped whatever he was doing to hear out the younger boy until he was completely calm again. That was for when they weren’t hanging out together. They spent an unhealthy amount of time together. Jungkook was surprised the elder hadn’t grown tired of him yet.

      “I know hyung. I have an unlimited amount of trust in you. I promise you that I’ll always talk to you if I have a problem.” Jungkook had practically melted into Taehyung’s hands by now. They had inched a few spaces closer, just to relish in the warmth of the chilly day. His hands were big, and covered almost the whole lower half of his face. Jungkook wanted nothing more than to envelope the other boy in a hug and just feel that same sense of being safe. Fortunately, Taehyung obliged that request for him, as if reading his mind. He stood them both up and wrapped long arms around Jungkook’s torso. Jungkook hugged back as if his life depended on it, though not too hard. The elder chuckled at the immediate response and eventually pulled away, sweeping Jungkook abruptly out of the beautiful warmth that was Taehyung.

      “How about that lunch now? Or I could just, order pizza.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and Jungkook could basically feel Taehyung’s stomach growl from where he was standing. Jungkook laughed and walked towards the small picnic that Taehyung had set up. Taehyung took the signal and sat down across from Jungkook. Jungkook felt a similar feeling to one that he'd felt when he was younger, though he couldn't quite pin point it. It was almost like a roller coaster feeling, and he couldn't stop the butterflies that emitted from the pit of his stomach. 

       _I love the feeling of love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapters, they get longer to about 4500 per chapter ish? Show support or give feed back please :) Also, I'm posting four chapters today because I had previously written this and chapter five will be up by next Monday/Tuesday.


	3. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung get's jealous, and is beginning to figure out why.

     Jungkook had just walked out of his dreadful gym class, and was heading towards his locker. Usually Taehyung was waiting for him outside of the locker room, or somewhere near there, but today he wasn’t there. Jungkook had been curious, although not wanting to seem upset, he ignored the worry that threatened to claw up his back. The icy claw that he usually felt was shoved down, which he was sort of proud of himself for. Jungkook waited. And he waited. He waited for Taehyung to arrive or text him or any sort of communication with his best friend, but nothing reached him. Jungkook felt the clock chew away at the minutes, and he already felt the guilt of being late. He decided to veer around the corner that Taehyung’s locker was held in, just to see. If he was there, Jungkook had zero intent of talking to him. Seeming obsessed might give away his giant secret, the one thing Jungkook didn’t feel culpable towards for keeping secret. Well, he sort of did, only towards Taehyung.

     Jungkook had friends, just nobody near as close as he was with Taehyung. Jungkook was known as one of the slightly “popular” people, just because of his humor and intelligence, but Taehyung wasn’t an all maker just to him. Taehyung was a god, all around the high school, he has been since primary school. When Jungkook swerved around the corner, he halted almost immediately, he spotted Taehyung as soon as his eyes swept over the empty hallway. Taehyung and some girl Jungkook had seen around occasionally were having a conversation near his hyung’s locker. Jungkook stayed far away enough to where they couldn’t see him but close enough so he could hear their conversation. Jungkook deemed it not creepy, but slightly strange. Love was strange, after all.

     “So, yeah. Anyway, do you think you’ll be able to come to the party on Saturday?” Jungkook had joined mid conversation, but it was easy to catch on to what they were discussing.

     “Of course, I’m bringing a couple of my friends, if that’s okay.” Jungkook knew Taehyung too well. It was obvious that he would ask that, already knowing that Jungkook would be reluctant to attend the event.

     “Oh, sure. Just… that best friend of yours takes all of your attention. Could you maybe not bring him? ‘Kay? Thanks.” And with that, she leaned up and planted an open-mouthed kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, which Taehyung returned with an oh so adoring look plastered on his face. Jungkook felt as if he had gotten the wind knocked out of him. The jealousy that had been looming over Jungkook since the beginning of the elder’s conversation had begun to tear at his throat. It was suffocating, the burning anger and jealousy that made him want to scream. He knew he obviously couldn’t have any sort of breakdown or alone time now, because Taehyung would do anything in his power to stop if he was feeling bad at all. But Jungkook just couldn’t face his hyung without an utter feeling of being completely useless and worthless. Jungkook knew his best friend would never think of him as anything more than what they were right now, and frankly, Jungkook thought that their friendship was partly out of pity. Taehyung had started being friends with him when he noticed him seeming uncomfortable around a few seventh graders that he called his “friends”, it was that fateful day in gym class. In actuality,they'd met and became distant friends in preschool, but became really good friends in the sixth grade for Jungkook.

     Jungkook was smart enough to figure out why such a well known guy throughout the whole school wanted to be friends with the funniest kid in school. Taehyung had immediately saw through his fake comfort and fake smiles and invited him to sit with a few of his friends one day at lunch. It’s not like his hyung had ever told him this story, but why else would such a dreamy guy want to be friends with a funny kid with fake friends. Jungkook had pondered over the thought that he wanted to make himself look better, physically and attitude wise. After all, Jungkook did have a lot of girls wanting to hang out or giving him their phone number more often. So maybe once Taehyung had built him up to where he didn’t need a hyung anymore, he would just leave him. It made sense but would his best friend since preschool really do that? They barely knew what popularity was back then. Jungkook snapped out of his thoughts and realized that Taehyung would need to head towards the direction he was in in order to get to their class. Jungkook remained extremely intelligent throughout the years, so he got his parents to convince the school to let him be in higher classes. The real reason Jungkook wanted to remain so intelligent was so that he could keep in touch with Taehyung, and a few other friends he had that were juniors. Taehyung’s age worked out perfectly with their situation, since he was technically supposed to be a senior, but honestly Jungkook had a feeling that Taehyung hadn’t discovered this yet. What proved this the most is Taehyung being in eighth grade when Jungkook was in sixth. Or maybe Taehyung just didn’t care. It’s not like Taehyung wasn’t intelligent, he just chose to not apply himself. In actuality, Taehyung would probably be more intelligent than Jungkook if he tried.

     Jungkook got distracted by his thoughts very easily, and Taehyung was coming towards him all too quickly. Having realized his best friend hadn’t laid eyes on him yet, he spun on his heel and bolted as fast as he could to the nearest mens room. He once again locked himself in a stall and plopped himself down on the closed toilet seat. I’m not going to cry. _I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to-_

     “Yeah, I’ll see you later. Bye.” Footsteps in the bathroom, but not a stall opening. He saw the figure turn around, and he was too late to tuck his knees up to his chest.

      “Oi, who’s in here? It’s way past passing period.” Students usually weren’t allowed to go to the bathroom after gym period, because you had ten minutes of free time where you could basically do anything you needed to. Homework, practice for school performances. Jungkook recognized the voice faintly, Taehyung had talked to him before. _Min Yoongi was it?_ Jungkook knew that there was no reason to hide now, so he slowly put his feet down and stood up. He unlocked the stall, and automatically realized he could have just said he was using the bathroom. He never had a clear state of mind when it came to nerve wracking situations like this.

     “Jungkook? What are you doing in here? Don’t you have some advanced class to be at right now?” _Why does everyone expect me to be the most perfect, smart kid to have ever existed?_

     “I-I just… I just needed a break I guess. That’s all.” Yoongi kept the same facial expression on his face like a mask the whole time. It’s like he knew why he was in there. Yoongi was also a “popular” type of kid but he was different in a sense. He didn’t care what others thought about him, he no longer lived with his parents since he was a senior, and he had tattoos. Jungkook thought he was a bit intimidating, even though he had the whole junior and senior year at his back, along with Taehyung. Taehyung came from a rich family, and he wore Gucci to school. More than necessary. He wasn’t trying to brag about his wealth, but Taehyung believed that there wasn’t much else to do with millions of dollars. Besides the continuous gifts that made up most of his closet, which was inevitable.

     “Oh. Well you want to go do something? Out of school?” Yoongi acted his best to not be weirded out by the younger's statement. Jungkook felt an inkling of burning anxiety, but he used all of his might to shove it down. He forced excitement into his system, and made himself respond normally. He had heard rumors of him not caring what gender he happened to like. Maybe this was his chance to fall out of the hurtful hopelessness that was his love towards Taehyung.

     “S-sure. Where would we g-go hyung?” Jungkook mentally cursed himself out for stuttering, and if he could have slapped himself in the face right then and there, he would’ve. All too suddenly though, Yoongi was close, with his hand on the latter’s chin.

     “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I would never do anything to hurt you, ‘ya know? That friend of yours would not be happy about it." Yoongi had to lean down a bit to be right in front of Jungkook’s face, and he wouldn’t argue with the fact that it felt nice to have someone think about him in the long run. Even if it was partially for his hyung’s sake. Jungkook could feel heat dragging itself onto his cheeks, and his lips parted open the slightest due to Yoongi’s hand on his chin.

     “Of course. I’m not afraid, hyung.” Although he didn’t stutter, his voice did waver. Jungkook couldn't help his inner shyness shine in this moment. The shyness he felt towards Taehyung. Yoongi leaned closer, but then he was gone a moment later.

     “Okay, so where do you want to break, butterfly boy?” Jungkook’s face immediately went red all over again. He had forgotten that he was wearing a creamy sweater with a blue butterfly on the side. He had put a blue dress shirt on under it to appeal to a certain person who was not Min Yoongi. Jungkook had played his shy card and let himself be led out of the bathroom by the enticing boy with black hair. All that he hoped is that Taehyung didn’t see them. He didn’t want his hyung by two years find out he wasn’t all that normal. Of course, Taehyung most likely would just think he was making more friends. But then again, Jungkook did everything in his power to stop Taehyung from finding out. _Just this once, I’ll be myself._ And he did. He let himself relax into Yoongi’s grasp, and forced himself to release the tension that was building in between his shoulders. Without warning, Taehyung obviously appeared out of nowhere, that was just how love stories worked. That was just just Jungkook’s luck when it came to love, too.

     “Yoongi, where the hell are you taking him?” Taehyung was very defensive when it came to Jungkook, and most people knew it as obvious.

     “Woah, woah calm down there. He just said he needed a break, and since you weren’t around, I thought maybe I could help.” Taehyung looked as if he was on the brink of infuriation. Jungkook had barely seen (if ever) this side of Taehyung before. That made Jungkook angry, because he knew why Taehyung had kept his cool around Jungkook at all times. It was because Taehyung treated Jungkook like a baby no matter the circumstance. He knew that for a fact.

     “Alright, fine. Do what you want. It’s not like he won’t come running back to me in the end.” Taehyung spat these words with immediate regret. Yoongi laughed. A deep breathy chuckle played at his neck, he had since moved positions after Taehyung had interrupted their escape from the prison that was high school.

     “Always knew yours was a pity friendship. Fortunately, that’ll be different with him and I.” It was scary when very calm people get overcome with anger. It’s different when a seemingly passive aggressive person gets angry, or an extremely bubbly person to yell and get angry. Taehyung was a very bubbly, happy person, but for him to lose his harmonious attitude around the person he said he’d never ever get mad at was definitely a different side of his best friend. Jungkook had gotten mad before, and at Taehyung at particular. But the thought of causing harm to someone else made Jungkook feel physically unwell. It’s not like Jungkook wouldn’t square up if he had to, but for no reason even the thought made him feel guilty.

     Jungkook heard footstep after footstep playing back in his mind like slow motion. He was blinded by fear already, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at his hyung. He wanted to run and hide. To be safe and to feel uncontrollable feelings of comfort. That was the opposite of what he felt right now. He felt panicky and anxious. He could’ve said it was his worst anxiety attack in a while, but there was an utter numbness that conquered his brain and his muscles. The steps drew closer, and Jungkook felt like each of them was a weight added against his chest. The final step, a pause, and then a deafening smack. It was almost as if Jungkook knew it was coming, but one thing that was odd is that it seemed the slap hadn’t ended up on his face. _Maybe that’s because of the adrenaline?_ Jungkook didn’t exactly know why, but he really expected it to.

     He opened eyes that were sealed together tightly and released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Jungkook basically gasped at what he saw. Yoongi’s head was turned in his direction, looking at him dead in the face with a bored expression. Taehyung looked the most enraged Jungkook has ever seen. _Taehyung just did that. My Taehyung just did that. What the hell? Why is he so mad?_ Jungkook wanted to, no needed to leave right then and there. It took the plinking sound of a single tear hitting the floor for him to realize he was crying. It was barely the fact that his hyung had completely lost his never ending wave of calm, it was everything that came crashing down on him at once. The only thing he could think to do was run, but his attempt failed. His arm was caught by Taehyung who dragged him to the nearest door and then out in the parking lot. On his way out, he didn’t fail to miss the, “Goodbye butterfly boy.” that came from a now empty except for one hallway.

     Taehyung was almost literally about to lift the boy up and carry him bridal style, but the painful tears that would not stop flowing from the younger’s eyes stopped him. Jungkook in that moment reminded Taehyung of a scared puppy, refusing to go on a walk. It felt like a slap in the face had been returned to him. He despised it that Jungkook seemed scared of him. He vowed to himself that he would never frighten the younger, and he’d broken that unwritten contract. He was infuriated with himself, and he knew he was the one who deserved a backhand straight across his face. Once they reached Taehyung’s car, (Porsche if you will) Taehyung took the courtesy of opening the back door for the latter, then climbing in the other side himself. Jungkook wore a defeated and ashamed look on his face, and Taehyung’s little flood of anger that he had left melted away by the tears still streaming from his face.

     “Jungkook I-” He was cut off by Jungkook, who had a lot to say but the amount of words in his head that were unspeakable he tried to send subliminally.

     “Why do you do this to me, hyung? You seem so happy with other people and then you give me false hope? Did I do something wrong to deserve this? Whatever it is, I’m sorry. Yoongi was right, this is a pity friendship. Maybe it’d be best if you were just with people like yourself, who aren’t mentally wrecked like I am. I’m never going to be “fixed” or anything like that, and I can tell you have to hold back who you really are around me. I’m so sorry Taehyung hyung. I never mean to put a barrier around how you act and I know how agonizing it is to hold all your emotions in. I know just how that feels firsthand. So just tell me now if your life would be easier for me to be distant. I know that it would and there’s barely anything that’d convince me otherwise.”

     Taehyung looked stunned. Shocked, and almost offended. His eyes began to tear up and Jungkook immediately pressed his fingers under his hyung’s eyelids, mostly out of habit but a small part of Jungkook just wanted to be pressed against Taehyung, head tucked into his neck. His hyung rarely cried, Jungkook believed this was maybe the third time he'd seen him cry. He wanted to smell the fragrance that is the love of his life, and he wanted above all for Taehyung’s hands to be on him. Just like he always did, Taehyung brought both of his hands up to hold onto smaller ones that were on his face. He tore them away, and threw his arms around the younger’s lower torso. His breath and words were hot against his stomach and almost inaudible, but Jungkook could hear him just fine.

    “Jungkook I never, ever would want you to leave me. You give me absolute purpose and happiness. It’s inspiring to know that you go through the whole day hiding how you feel while you’re insides feel the opposite. And you go through it all with a smile on your face. I know that you don’t want to be here, I’ve seen those scars on your wrists when your bracelets can’t hide them. I know you want to give up, but I won’t let you give up. Not until we grow old together and we’re happy old men who can down bottles of moonshine no problem. That’s what I want and I want you to know that you need to look forward to that. You’re going to meet the person of your dreams and you’re going to go to college. You can’t back down now.” _Person? Person of my dreams? Why didn’t he say girl. That’s what he knows, right?_ Taehyung’s grip around Jungkook was tighter now, and the blush on his face brighter. The tears were also flowing faster now. Jungkook realized he was wrong and that his best friend forever really would be forever.

     “T-Taehyung I d-don’t know what to s-say. You’re the best person to have ever existed in my whole entire life. How am I supposed to thank you? You’re the one who g-gives me purpose” *Hic* Jungkook made a mental note that he needed to stop advertising his anxiousness by stuttering. He was basically on his hyung’s lap now, but none of them were uncomfortable.

     “You don’t have to say anything, Romeo. I’ve got you now, ba-Jungkookie.” _Romeo? Was he about to call me baby?_ Jungkook’s heart leaped with excitement at the thought.

     “How about I take you to my house and I’ll call both of us in. My parents are in Fiji, we can cuddle and watch mindless cartoons. I’ll make you something warm to drink, and we can be like when we were younger.” Jungkook started to tear up again.

     “That sounds like the best plan I’ve heard in awhile.” His voice got whinier towards the end of the sentence and Taehyung chuckled, hugging him with his mouth on his collarbone, since he knew the tears welling in his eyes were happy ones. _Okay, baby. Let me take care of you now,_ Taehyung thought. He hopped out of the backseat after wrapping Jungkook in his scarf and jacket, and buckling him into the seat so that he was safe. _Smells like hyung_. Jungkook loved that smell more than anything. He got his wish, to be wrapped up in comforting smells and thoughts. Once they reached Taehyung’s house, Taehyung got him out of the car and led him to their giant front door. He called one of his butlers to call them both in for their absence, then took them to the upstairs kitchen/family room. Jungkook sat down while Taehyung went to grab the blankets that he slept with every night, because it’s not like he hadn’t noticed how much the latter enjoyed sleeping in his hyung’s bed, wearing his clothes.

     He grabbed a pair of sweatpants that he wore frequently, which he knew would be bigger on Jungkook, and a sweatshirt that he was about to put on himself. He wore the sweatshirt basically everyday once he got home, and he has since freshmen year. It was a gift from Jungkook that he cherished more than anything. When he walked back out, Jungkook was browsing for an episode of Bob’s Burgers, and he decided upon one when Taehyung entered the room.

     “I’m going to go make tea, but here’s a change of clothes so we can have super ultra comforting cuddle time.” Jungkook laughed at Taehyung’s choice of words and changed his pants first, but paused for a moment to watch the show. He came upon a particularly funny part and chuckled, while slipping his shirt off. Taehyung had bumped the a.c down a few notches so they’d be warm in coldness, which made the experience even more comforting for Jungkook. Jungkook noticed Taehyung standing in the doorway, looking at his exposed, toned torso. He acted like he didn’t notice and threw the sweatshirt on. Almost like a custom, he brought the fabric up to his nose and breathed in deeply to savor the scent that came with it. He was glad he acted like he didn’t notice his hyung there, because his tongue swept across his lips and there was something that flashed in his eyes that Jungkook barely caught, trying not to be obvious. Taehyung went back into the kitchen to retrieve the tea and waltzed in with an adoring smile on his face. He had changed into sweatpants too, and he had a gigantic blanket wrapped around himself.

     Taehyung having realized that the blanket he left the younger remained untouched, he sat down and snaked behind Jungkook. He extended his arms and wrapped the blanket and himself against Jungkook. Jungkook was realizing just now how much Taehyung liked his ears. And his shirt off. Taehyung intertwined his legs with Jungkook’s, and the younger made no move to stop Taehyung from everything he was doing. His body was pressed firmly against the other’s, and he was mouthing and placing kisses on Jungkook’s ears. The elder didn’t miss the blush that engulfed his ears and the top of his neck. Jungkook made a tiny, tiny noise that he prayed to all gods above that Taehyung didn’t hear. But of course, he did. Taehyung decided to mess with him a bit more, resting his mouth slightly open on Jungkook’s neck.

     “H-hyung, you’re very touchy today.” Taehyung only made a noise in the back of his throat as a response.

     “Why don’t we just stay like this for the rest of the day, hm?” Jungkook nodded his head in response and decided to shove the annoyance of not being able to drink his tea down. It didn’t take long for Jungkook to drift off into a much needed slumber, but it did for Taehyung. He pondered over a lot of things while the younger was sleeping. One thing did pop up in Taehyung’s mind that was for certain. Although it was a secret that could belong to anyone but Jungkook.

                               “I love you, Jeon Jungkook.”


	4. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung tries to realize things in the spur of the moment, Jungkook feels himself falling further.

     Unless Jungkook had a distraction, he was most likely thinking about how his future would turn out, or just bad things in general. Currently, he was depressed. He felt waves of glacial sorrow, partially because of two reasons. Jungkook’s father had gone out drunk again, and said some pretty hurtful things towards the teen. He didn’t recall most of it because the time was spent mostly on him trying not to cry. The welling tears in his eyes would’ve been obvious if it weren’t for the intoxicated manner of his father. It’s not like it was the first time this happened. Mr. Jeon wasn’t the friendliest or the most supportive when Jungkook had been young. The thirteen year old Jungkook was the first to experience it. He had been studying in his room for an upcoming mathematics quiz. He was having trouble on a particular problem and was just about to pick up his phone to ask one of his upperclassmen, not wanting to call Taehyung because he was most likely out at a party on a Friday night. He had been invited, but not willing to come. At all. He had heard the front door open, assuming it was his father since his mother was away on a business and wasn’t due back home until Tuesday. He happily hopped down the steps, inquiring if he should ask his father about the question or not. As soon as he reached the bottom step and walked around to greet his father, he came to a realization that the forty five year old man wasn't alone. He had a women who looked about as buzzed as the man standing next to her, who was holding her heels by the stick. She was giggling away but they nearly came to a stop once she laid her eyes on Jungkook.

     “Abeoji? Who is this?” His father’s gaze turned to him with a searing look of outrage, almost as if it was his warning. Turns out, his warning was the front door opening. His father turned back to the still giggling girl with the angry look completely faded from his facial muscles.

     “Jiwon, how ‘bout you head upstairs for now?” The woman turned with a sickeningly mischievous look across her face, and went upstairs, without asking which room was his. Once she finished sauntering up the steps and closed the door, his father turned back to him. It was the first time he had been hit with meaning behind it. He had had friends that had been mad and jokingly hit him on the arm. His father had slapped him straight across the face, and his father’s strength was no joke. The smack that was laid upon his face would’ve made his ears ring, but he was too stunned to believe any of this was happening. The thirteen year old obviously knew that things in his family weren’t perfect, mostly because of him. His parents argued over him all the time, whether his emotions were fake or if he was doing this for attention. The only thing he could possibly think about while he overheard these arguments was, _Why would anyone possibly want to fake this?_ It was a question that he didn’t figure out for a while, and it frustrated him because he found solutions to most if not all questions or problems within no time. Some were too complex for even his mindset.

     “A-abeoji, I’m s-sorry for whatever I did. I didn’t mean to-”

     “Just get out!” His father roared, loud enough that he was surprised that this Jiwon character didn’t come back downstairs to see what was happening. Not that she was sober enough, obviously. Two moments after his father’s statement he raised his hand again, and Jungkook ran. He checked his phone was with him and he grabbed a jacket on the way out the front door. After that, he had no clue where to go. He thought maybe he could go to Taehyung’s house instead of contacting him directly and just say his parents had talked to Taehyung’s. Even at that time Jungkook knew how much Taehyung’s mother trusted Jungkook, and she would definitely cover up for the younger without asking any questions.

     In the end, Jungkook was too scared. Taehyung’s mother probably wasn’t even up at this hour. Not knowing what to do, he called his mother with the excuse that his father wouldn’t be home until tomorrow because of business and he left his phone at home. His ever so trusting mother believed him right away and informed Mrs. Kim of the situation. His mother just did the opposite of what he wanted her to do. _Moms can be such cock blocks._ Although, Jungkook appreciated that sometimes. Especially in this situationMrs. Kim even came and picked Jungkook up. He remembers the conversation pretty vividly that he had with his best friend’s mother. He was so shaken he didn’t exactly realize how strange it was to confide so much in a mother that wasn’t his. He told her things that Taehyung didn’t know at the time, and she was the only one who believed him. She listened carefully and intently, and looked very involved even when she was driving. He cried so hard in front of her, and she treated him like he had a real mother. A real mother who cared about his well-being and who gave him her undivided attention even in the strange situation he found himself in.

     He told her the real situation and how depressed he felt all the time. He remembers her telling him, “You gain strength, courage and confidence in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Jungkook was still in tears, he laughed and said, “Eleanor Roosevelt?” She chuckled in response and commented on how smart he was. She was on the verge of tears herself, for the thirteen year old boy had gone through much more than she had in her forty two years of life. She couldn’t help but feel bad even when she knew that was the last thing he wanted people to feel towards him. That conversation was one of the few he remembered thoroughly throughout his tween/teen years.

     Today, he was trying his hardest not to think the horrible thoughts that corrupted his mind. Cerebral chaos as in his mental state was pretty common for Jungkook, but man was it miserable. He didn’t want to go to school, he didn’t want to have any social interaction. He didn’t even want to be around Taehyung. Well, that was mostly half true. He didn’t want pity, or cuddles. He wanted to partially talk about how he felt but he also wanted a major distraction. He also just wanted to watch YouTube and eat apple slices. Taehyung would obviously do that without question, but he didn’t want the elder to get annoyed with him. So he did what he usually did. He wrapped himself up in a blanket, ordered a pizza, and watched videos of things he knew wouldn’t even make him excited. While in this state, even watching something like someone getting really excited about something could make him anxious. He was in the middle of a Google search for “why do easter bunnies carry eggs” when he received a text. He turned in the direction of his phone, and peered at the contact name, which was labeled “TaeTae”.

 **TaeTae:** There’s a small get together at Jin’s house. Should I come pick you up?

     Jungkook immediately felt his body encase with anxiety but he ignored it the best he could. Jin was a nice person, and he absolutely adored Jungkook. He treated him like the little brother he never had. It depended on the people if Jungkook would go. _No. I have to put myself out there for once._

 **Me:** Who’s going to be there

     Jungkook asked anyway out of curiosity even though he said he would definitely force himself to attend. He did this to himself often, it’s not like it was anything new.

 **TaeTae:**  Jin, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and a few girls whose names I don’t remember

     Jungkook read the message and wasn’t that afraid of the people who were attending, but Taehyung flirting with others made his heart hurt. _No, I’m forcing myself to do this, remember?_

 **Me:** Sure

 **TaeTae:** I know you don't want to go so we can get ready together i'll be there in five

     He knew Jungkook too well. You could call it scary.

 **Me:** Okay, see you then

     Jungkook thought that the pair were terrible texters, mostly because they could just read each other’s minds. They were good at communicating in person, it just took a few minutes to be good at electronic conversations. Jungkook stayed in his position, figuring that Taehyung would do his tiny amount of makeup while he was sitting, and he didn’t really care about his attire currently. He browsed social media and went back onto YouTube to calm down a bit more since talking to Taehyung helped a bit. It seemed strange, being able to be in such a calmer state after talking to someone. Jungkook wondered if Taehyung had ever been nervous and went to talk to him without him knowing. Jungkook had begun to bring up the subject multiple times before but Taehyung always forced it back at him. He was in the middle of a very interesting article about why platypus’ lay eggs when he heard his front door open. The pizza man most definitely wouldn’t just open his front door, and his father or mother wouldn’t just come home from work at 8:37 on a Friday night. They got back around 10:00 or 10:30 on a normal night, but 11:00 or 12:00 if it was a busy day.

     Although he knew it was Taehyung, he pretended to be asleep as an experiment for lack of better word. He carefully shut his laptop and laid down so his face was facing the door. He heard footsteps bounding towards his room, and it was confirmed that it was Taehyung by his descent up the steps. His best friend always took two steps at a time and tended to go faster than necessary, causing a resounding boom after boom of feet pounding into carpeted wood.

     “Jungkook-ah. I told you I was coming, we need to get ready.” Jungkook kept up his fake act because he knew Taehyung had done it to him before. He hadn’t noticed at the time but he thanked all gods above that he didn’t let anything risky slip. Taehyung walked over to the edge of the bed and knelt down to Jungkook’s level. He reached out and carded a hand through Jungkook’s hair. He grasped it and pulled ever so slightly on the strands of light brown hair. Taehyung heard a small groan escape from Jungkook’s lips and something burned in the bottom of the elder’s stomach.

     “Jungkookie, you can’t make me feel like that. How unfair that you don’t return this feeling.” Taehyung was just rambling on, but Jungkook wasn’t positive he knew what his hyung was talking about. Jungkook was about to jump up at the next gentle tug that Taehyung applied to his hair but he was in a different position all too suddenly. Taehyung was carrying him bridal style, though the younger didn’t know exactly where he was taking him or why. Jungkook felt one of Taehyung’s arms lift away to glance at his most likely glance at his wristwatch, and Jungkook was right as soon as Taehyung began talking aloud.

     “It’s only 8:44, the party doesn’t start until 10:00.” _Ten?_ _That’s when dad is supposed to be home. He did say he would have a busy day, so maybe I’ll get lucky?_ Jungkook hoped for the best and then came to a realization that his hyung really liked to talk to himself. Taehyung set him on the side of the bed where the covers were ruffled, and he lied down next to him. The elder pulled the covers over himself and the latter, and he curled his limbs around the other’s. They were in a position so that Jungkook’s head was pressed against the older’s neck, and Taehyung’s lips pressed to Jungkook’s forehead for a brief moment before hugging him particularly hard. Jungkook took this as an opportunity to “wake up”. As soon as he jumped he took a deep breath. His hyung automatically detached his long legs and arms away from Jungkook’s, and left one arm strewn on his chest. He acted like he hadn’t been staring at the latter’s face the whole time (which he had) and smiled that admiring smile on his face, and that just made Jungkook melt on the spot.

     “Hi, hyung.” Jungkook was immensely surprised at how calm he sounded. Taehyung had just kissed his forehead. And he picked Jungkook up like it was nothing. _Does this mean something? Or is he just being Taehyung? This is normal for him, right? Also, dafuq?_ Jungkook mentally got down on his knees and thanked his hyung ever so respectfully for just waltzing into his house.

     “Morning, dumbass.” Jungkook managed to keep a straight face at his hyung’s comment.

     “I believe my ass is very lovely, actually.” Taehyung almost chuckled at that. Almost.

     “Possibly, not as fine as this damn fine-” Jungkook cut him off with the fear of him saying something revolting. Taehyung broke out into a manic laughter at both of his hands reaching up to cover the elder’s mouth and the panicked expression that was displayed on the latter’s face. Jungkook rolled his eyes and allowed himself a smile at his hyung’s melodic laughter.

     “So, are you still up for the party? Or should we just cuddle it out?” Jungkook could tell how much his hyung wanted to go by the tone of his voice. Was there going to be some girl there that Taehyung wanted to see? Would Taehyung try and make some sort of move on said girl? Thoughts raced like dogs in and out of Jungkook’s psyche, badgering him to ask the questions that remained unanswered. Jungkook short circuited the machine that played back those stupid statements and questions of worry and regret of agreeing to attend this get together. He broke those dumb machines like he meant it, and he did. He was very proud of himself in that moment, and told himself he’d tell Taehyung later on.

     “Sure, who’s there that you want to see so badly?” Jungkook was confident that he spoke without the hurt of already knowing the answer. Taehyung knew in the back of his mind that he’d just wanted to show Jungkook off in front of his friends, to let everyone know that Jungkook belonged to him, but he didn’t exactly come to terms with himself that this was the actual reason. Not wanting to say anything that would make the bunny boy uncomfortable, he came off with the first response that had been resting atop his head.

     “There’s this girl that Hoseok won’t shut up about, and she’s been talking about me. Figured I could get some.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows and you could feel Jungkook cringe if you were standing halfway across the room. They both slowly fell into laughter, Jungkook’s ending up being fake. Taehyung could tell, but decided to say nothing.

     “M’kay. You have to do my makeup, though.” Jungkook didn’t exactly let his hyung go all out when Jungkook himself wasn’t in a good mood. Fortunately, he was in a very good mood today. He wanted to look hot as fuck. Even if his hyung was the one who made him look it, he was going to look hot either way. Jungkook was slowly devising a plan to help his hyung subliminally fall in love with the latter. But how blind they both were. None of them realized how hooked Taehyung already was for the younger.

     “Of course, but sit your lazy bum up.” Jungkook didn’t exactly feel like getting up from this comfortable position. He crossed his arms over his chest and popped his bottom lip out of stubbornness. He wasn’t seriously being babyish, just to emphasize how he felt to his hyung.

     “Oh fine, I’ll just do it later. It’s only 9:00.” Jungkook let the pout subside and cast an almost smug, infantile grin across his face. He let his eyes drift shut and basked in the lingering smell that Taehyung left on his pillows. As he was drifting into the state of being half awake and half asleep, he was again swept off of his feet. He let out a cacophonous screech at what was occurring. He was slung over Taehyung’s shoulder, with his ass in his hyung’s face. Jungkook was having a hard time in between peeing his pants from laughter and shrieking at the elder to put him down.

     “KIM TAEHYUNG I SWEAR TO FUCKING-” He was cut off with a smack to the rear end.

     “Language, my child. Also, I believe you are much too young to be fucking. You definitely shouldn’t be swearing to it.” Now Jungkook really was about to piss himself from laughing too hard. He was lightly smacking the elder on the back as he was leading him to the bathroom, not before stopping to pick up the bag he brought that Jungkook hadn’t noticed until he was swinging it against his hip. Jungkook had his arms locked around Taehyung’s torso as he was afraid of falling flat on his face. Not that Taehyung would allow that, anyway.

     “Hyung! What are you do-” Jungkook drew out the vowel in ‘hyung’ and was cut off once again with a slap to his ass. He whined graphically daresay, and it made Taehyung stop dead in his tracks. The younger immediately felt his face heat up and he basically moaned again at Taehyung’s hand moving up his leg. Taehyung leaned forward and set Jungkook down. The elder gazed at the boy with pure lust formed over his eyes, and Jungkook felt harassed. How rude. _Why the HELL is Taehyung so undeniably hot._ He needed to take an ice bath after the scalding attractiveness that he had witnessed. Taehyung reached out with his fingers pointed in a gun shape, and pushed Jungkook’s head up by the base of where the back of his chin and his throat met. He pushed the younger’s head upwards with his thumb while dragging his forefinger to Jungkook’s chin. Jungkook mewled, and arousal burned at the bottom of his stomach. “Taehyung hyung, d-did I do s-something wrong?” Jungkook’s voice came out babyish and scared, and he added a pout to his face, almost to tease his hyung. Taehyung gave him a look that made Jungkook feel so… special and desired. In that moment, his hyung looked like he wanted Jungkook more than he’d ever wanted anything. Taehyung bit his lip and it made Jungkook want to scream. He wanted his hyung’s hands to be all over him, and he wanted to melt into his hands, to unwind at the hands of whom he loved so damn much. It was definitely love, and Jungkook could tell that more than ever in that exact moment.

     “No, nothing Jungkookie. How about I do your makeup now, hm?” Taehyung hadn’t said this with much emotion, and it was a bit hurtful. After the state he left Jungkook in, following the skinship that just occurred, for him to respond so blankly? His heart was pounding a mile a minute and his limbs felt heavy. He didn’t feel normally anxious, but anxious in the sense that he was excited, too. He wanted to feel so enormously aroused like that again. “O-okay.” Jungkook let his elder lead him into the bathroom, while it felt strange not to hold hands or be walking in step with his hyung right next to him. Once they both reached the bathroom, Jungkook switched on the light only to notice how extremely red his face had gotten. It would’ve made his infuriatingly red blush spread even further and the color intensify, but that really wasn’t possible at this point. Taehyung turned almost immediately on his heels and grabbed Jungkook by the hips.

     Turns out, Jungkook was wrong. His face did get more red. His hyung picked him up by the hips and set him on the counter. Most of the embarrassment was gone in that moment, since Taehyung had been doing that since elementary school. His hyung just came up with the excuse that his hips were so slim and it felt nice to wrap his hands around them. Eventually, Taehyung had begun to work out so that he could lift his best friend up. He didn’t accept the fact nor was he aware that it was even a possibility, that he started to work out to appease more to the younger. He still necessarily didn’t realize it. Jungkook squealed every time, and it never failed to make him giggle. He giggled and it left a fond smile on his hyung’s face.

     Taehyung reached up and grabbed Jungkook’s phone from his pocket, and placed his thumb on the home button. He only had to wait a few seconds for the phone to open up. He tapped on the music app and pressed shuffle on his playlist. A BigBang song played and Taehyung did some weird and unplanned dance moves along with the beat. Jungkook burst out in laughter at how dorky he looked. Anyone else would cringe, but it felt good to have his friend be himself in front of him. After Taehyung had finished with his dance, he moved over next to Jungkook to unzip and sift through the bag that contained all of the makeup that Taehyung had in his possession. He started with washing Jungkook’s face and then rubbing moisturizer into the younger’s skin.

     They had done this multiple times before they went out to some public event, so it was in no way sentimental or as saccharine as their previous experience in the hallway. He gently dabbed away the excess dampness and grabbed the foundation and concealer he used specifically for Jungkook’s face. He finished with the foundation and the concealer and popped off the eyeliner cap. He swept on a few layers under and a thicker layer on the top. He took a nudish red tint and tapped it along the area where the outsides of his lips just met the inside. He only put on the thinnest layer of mascara, and by the time he was done perfecting the small amounts of eyeshadow and eyeliner, it was 9:30. That meant Taehyung had less than ten minutes to get ready. Seokjin’s parties started about forty five minutes before they actually began, since his house was so immense.

     “Well shit. I won’t even have time to do all of this.” His hyung looked defeated, at which Jungkook chuckled and half heartedly apologized.

     “Sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to take up your time.” Taehyung gave him the angriest look he could muster without cracking up the way that Jungkook’s contagious laughter always made him do. Jungkook began working on his hair, making it look the “neatly messy” that Jungkook had mastered for situations where Taehyung was involved. Once the younger had finished, it was 9:37 and Taehyung was finished with his left eye, and was three quarters of the way done with the right. Jungkook went to his closet and grabbed a nice pair of jeans from Neiman Marcus that were acquired on Taehyung’s trip to Chicago. They were ripped and hugged his legs in all the right places. He threw on a Comme des Garcons shirt and a loose bomber jacket over it. Taehyung had came in the clothes he was prepared to wear for the party, but he grabbed a ring to slip on his hyung’s finger. The pair already wore matching best friend rings, but he just felt like putting a ring on his finger. No reason in particular. Jungkook strut into the bathroom looking fine as fuck and he was proud of himself for picking out the outfit.

     “Are you trying to seduce someone, young man?” Taehyung put on his father voice and tried to sound as serious as possible.

     “No.” _Yes. You, of course da-"_

     “Highly debatable. This behavior is unacceptable. You’ll have to be punished.” Taehyung had finished with his hair and makeup and picked up his phone and Jungkook’s from the counter and slipped the younger’s in his back pocket and left a light smack there before pocketing his own. Jungkook yelped and let out an over-exaggerated screech. Taehyung basically growled and the younger sprinted out of the bathroom. He ran down the stairs with Taehyung hot on his heels. They were both laughing their asses off but Jungkook felt the adrenaline of being chased.

     “Come catch me hyung, please?” Jungkook had tired the elder out and without even panting, Jungkook turned around and told this to his hyung in a joking, childish tone. As he watched Taehyung’s face, something real fell over his expression. He looked like he wanted to just eat the younger, and he did to a degree. He wanted the younger to be all his, but how would that affect Jungkook? Taehyung decided to keep it to himself and just act like nothing had happened. He plastered a fake smile over the burning desire that was threatening to reorganize his expression.

     “You’ve asked for it.” Taehyung let out a freakish wail, which he called his war cry, and barreled toward Jungkook at full speed. Jungkook being the international playboy he is, he dodged the attack just in time. He turned around, walked straight up to Taehyung, and gave him a sorrowful hug and a pat on the back.

     “It’s okay, hyung. You can’t catch things you really don’t want to.” He spun on his heels with a smug look, only to be picked up bridal style and vigorously thrown into the passenger seat of the Tesla that Taehyung was currently driving. Taehyung looked absolutely furious, and Jungkook’s stomach dropped once he realized how serious his hyung was. He tried to bring up a conversation once they had begun their trip to Jin's house but he was ignored time and time again. It was a very awkward car ride, and Jungkook tried his hardest to ignore the glances that Taehyung stole. He tried to apologize, not knowing exactly what was wrong with what he'd said before they got into the car.

     “Taehyung hyung, I didn’t mean t-to say it like that. I’m sorry for making you upset. I really didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” Silence.

     “Okay, I-I deserve this. It was a bad thing to say and I honestly just said it to mess around. There was no serious meaning behind it. I wasn’t trying to imply anything and you know how much I care about you, hyung. It’s not like you to get so mad and I hate seeing you like this. You know I would never do this to you on purpose.” Still no response, but his harsh gaze that was fixed on the road turned to Jungkook for a brief moment. Finally noticing the look that was shown on the latter's face, his gaze softened for half a second and he suddenly veered to the left and into an almost empty parking lot. He put the car in park and whipped out his phone. He could see the quick text that was sent to Jin.

 **Me:** Were going to be a bit late, dont wait for us

     “Hyung? Shouldn’t we be getting to-” Jungkook had been cut off five too many times today.

     “Jungkook-ah, I’ve got something really important to tell you. This stays between us for now, okay?” Taehyung sometimes had what the characters in cartoons had. A devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other. This was one of those situations, most definitely.

_Am I really about to do this?_

_Hell yes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up either Friday or Monday-ish. Please leave feedback I'd love to know if I can improve at all or your suggestions for anything ;))


	5. Coffee shops and make-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook decides that he'll let his hyung know, soon.

     Sitting in his bed, Jungkook sighed. Last night was a hectic, emotional night. Right now, all he wanted to do was cry. He didn’t want apple slices, he didn’t want to watch Disney movies, and he definitely didn’t want Taehyung around to comfort him. Jungkook felt as if every time he released his breath, there was someone forcing his chest back, telling him not to breathe anymore. How much easier it would be if Jungkook just let it all go. The stars would still shine, and the moon would still wax and wane. He knew he wouldn’t, but there wasn’t a day that went by that Jungkook didn’t wonder what it’d be like if he gave up. What would it be like if he let his mind win? His mind was in constant, bloody war. Fighting back and forth between being happy and being depressed. The happy side was losing, and the rulers were beginning to fade. The monarchy he crafted was losing.

     His mind was becoming tired, and the battle he was trying to fight was not working. All of the soldiers had started to walk through this river, and the medics were just telling them to walk right out. Just step out of the river, and their lives would be much easier. They could do all the stuff they wished to do, but the damn river was holding them back. The thing was, they couldn’t just step out of the river. It was too strong. The river controlled them, pulled them along and they were too deep to even advance towards the bank slightly. While everyone was on the shore, saying that they related to the soldiers in every way, claiming they’ve been in much more worse situations than the problems the soldiers were currently facing.

      All the while, the corrupted soldiers only had one thing on their mind. They only thought of how clear and painless the answer was. They could just let the river pull them under. Their legs were tired anyway. Their heartbeat was accelerating and they wanted a break. A full time, endless break. The people he didn’t really know might not care, but Taehyung would. Even after the pain he endured last night, he felt his stomach drop every time he thought of Taehyung physically and emotionally hurt in any way. Did Taehyung feel how he did right now? Was he in immense pain after their conversation? Jungkook hadn’t said anything hurtful to Taehyung, but did the elder know he was in pain? He tried his hardest to forget every aspect about the conversation that they had in the parking lot of a laundromat, but he simply couldn’t.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

_“Jungkook, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” The younger’s stomach dropped and he wanted to leave. He wanted to throw open the car door and run as far as possible. He didn’t want to go anywhere specific, he just didn’t want to be in this situation. Obviously Taehyung wouldn’t let this slip, he was angry and he needed to vent. Jungkook was very scared at this point and his mouth was beginning to get dry. Uncomfortable thoughts were badgering his mind, endlessly and continuously like rain. Pittering and pattering down, trapping his feet to the ground. He was too afraid to move. Would Taehyung ditch him right then and there?_

_Had his hyung found out that he’d been in love with him since middle school? In actuality, they’d known each other since preschool, and they were friends. The time they really became good friends was the beginning of sixth grade. Taehyung had been taken out of his gym class in order to stop the bad behavior and all the talking with his friends, but he fit right in with Jungkook. The sixth grader was terrified at first, since he knew Taehyung was a hot shot and he knew it himself. He was in no way expecting the old friend to come up to him and ask him to play basketball. Or the following day invite him to his house. Or a year later for Jungkook to be crying in front of Taehyung telling him that he struggled with anxiety and a new ordeal, depression. He cried in front of his hyung last night, too. He absolutely hated crying in front of his hyung. Taehyung was pretty much the only person that’s ever seen him cry, but it still made him feel weak if his precious hyung saw him at his weakest state._

_His hyung was the only one who really knew he was ever at his weakest state, and he was the only one who could tell. Last night, his hyung confessed. Not distinctly to Jungkook, but the younger had a feeling. His hyung told him something that was heartbreaking the more you thought about it. Taehyung told Jungkook that he was in love. He was in love with someone and it was wrong. Jungkook was only left to wonder, for Taehyung had willingly told him all of his crushes before, and they had all been girls. Why wouldn’t he tell him now? Taehyung had never said he was in love with anyone, just school crushes. He has the words that the elder spoke imprinted in his vision, and they just wouldn’t fade._

_“Jungkook, I love someone. And it’s wrong. They’re the most gorgeous and precious thing in my life and I want them to know. Trust me for now and please believe me. This whole situation will become better.” Jungkook remembered his heart sinking. His heart sank now. Down, further, into a seemingly endless pit. Those thoughts came back again._ Why can’t I give up?

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

     Jungkook slammed his hand down on his alarm and took a deep breath in. It had been a couple days since the pair had last talked, and Jungkook was too scared to go back to school. He was in basically all of the elder’s classes, so how in the hell was that supposed to turn out? It’s not like his dad would just let him skip school, but then again how would he know? He’s too lazy to check his phone anymore, and he hadn’t paid the electric bill in over three months, and he was using mostly his “pocket money” received from Taehyung to pay the water bill. Jungkook knew he should do something about this, his father could go to jail and the teenager would be free from a whole set of anxiety. He’d been cut off from all relatives, and his grandparents had passed on.

     How was Jungkook supposed to live? _It’s not like I want to anyway. Why can’t I just end this?_ He had a feeling he’d be too weak to go through with it, and he definitely didn’t want to end up on suicide watch. Mr. Jeon didn’t know about what he went through at all, therefore he most likely would just send the younger off to some asylum to get better. Jungkook wanted to get better. He wanted to change and he wanted to be happy, he wanted the feeling he gets around Taehyung to happen all the time. Jungkook wanted a better life, to put it in a simple way.

     Having a better life was no simple task. Becoming a better person was something Jungkook thought he’d never come close to. He found himself wondering if he should do something, should harm himself again just to feel how he should feel for having these thoughts. Jungkook thought he needed to be punished for being so depressed. It was so selfish of him to even think of taking his life, imagine how his hyung would feel? He cursed himself for it.

     Being happy is a hard thing. Jungkook was never truly satisfied with himself in any way. He always wanted to change somehow, but doing that without the important people in his life helping him was rather difficult. The adolescent wasn’t trying to purposefully feel bad about himself, he just didn’t know how to express it. He couldn’t just tell Taehyung, he’d probably get mad and go into a whole lecture of why Jungkook should’ve just told him everything and they wouldn’t be in this bad situation if he had. Jungkook felt guilty after talking to his hyung. Mostly because Jungkook felt it was his fault for upsetting his hyung, but should he really be making him feel like shit?

     Jungkook didn’t want to keep drowning further, his bedsheets were starting to swallow him whole. He sat up and almost fell back into the consuming, silky comforter. Almost. He hopped up and walked towards his door to take a quick shower and throw some clothes on. After walking down the hallway into the bathroom, he shed his clothes and turned the handle all the way to the left, making the water smoldering. He waited until his mirrors fogged up and slid the curtain open, exposing himself to the heat of the water that was beating down on the tile. The tile had heat up by now and his feet burned for a bit, but the sensation was pleasant. He leaned against the tile and let the anxiety wash away like grime in between his fingers.

     He scrubbed his hair until he could run his fingers through the long strands without any knots. He stood under the water and just let it run, not rinsing the suds out or making any attempt to move. Just letting the liquid engulf his head, his eyes closed. He felt the sudsy shampoo run down his back and onto his legs, and pooling at his feet for a split second before being washed away, rushing into the drain. After most of the soap was washed away, you could see the bubbles piled up around the whirlpool that sucked up all of the water. He looked at the fading bubbles and he found himself reminded of sand in an hourglass. Although an hourglass measured time, he didn’t know why he saw them in such a similar manner.  
He washed his body with a lavender and vanilla scented body wash, something he bought with his own money, he loved it to no end when he smelled, well, girly. There was simply no other way to put it. He bought the ones with sparkles in the mixture and subtle scents and pretty labels. He kept them stowed away in his room, in a place he knew his father wouldn’t find them. He had an array of pastel clothes that were deemed too unmanly for a guy to wear, so he kept them hidden. Nothing too extreme like stockings, he might be able to back himself up for the sweaters and pastels but definitely not stockings or any sort of suggestive material.

     Letting the water rush over his skin and pool in his hair. He leaned back and pushed his hands through the length of his hair and let the liquid be pushed out and away from his head, a loud splash sounding on the hard floor. A few drops smacked onto the wall, and he found the sound enjoyable. He could hear the plinking of the faucet even over the water whipping down on the floor. He felt cleansed. Better now. He reached out and turned the shower off, not wanted to end up late.

     The sensation that was suddenly gone made him feel empty, but the warmth was still etched on his skin. Every drop that had been pounded into his back and neck, thighs and face, left pretty little marks all over him, that only Jungkook could see. He wrapped himself in a towel and lazily stalked back to his room. He opened his drawers in search for boxers, and sighed in triumph upon finding a clean pair after hunting for them.

     Jungkook discarded his towel that had been shrouding him in warmth, shuddering after the fluffiness left him. He slid on the pair of boxers and stalked to his closet, willing an idea for an outfit to pop into his head. Nothing came, until he ended up staring at the piles of clothes that resided in his closet and dresser drawers. He fell upon a realization that music would most likely help his struggle to get ready. He hunted for his phone and found it in under his still Taehyung scented pillow. Pain struck him across the chest and he felt that same rigid claw wake up, and begin to clamber up his back.

     He tried and he tried his hardest, but he really couldn’t help himself. He was and he always would be in love with his hyung. Even now he just wanted to forgive him for the mess he’s made of Jungkook. Taehyung had built Jungkook up as a person, too. Jungkook is who he is because of Taehyung. He makes him whole, and it hurts to be mad at the person he loves so much. The maknae wasn’t sure if Taehyung was mad at him, but he didn’t want to know, he deemed it’d be painful. Painful to know how his hyung really felt about him, if he felt anything at all. Jungkook had accepted one thing, over all.

     Taehyung wasn’t gay, and he never would be. Jungkook felt as if he was alone, stranded on that stupid island behind his forehead. The soldiers were on the verge of giving up, more than they ever had been. Jungkook tried his hardest not to feel this way, so he went back to the music. He picked a playlist by “in love with a ghost” and hit shuffle. The shuffle landed on a song called “sorry for not answering the phone, i’m too busy trying to fly away” and he felt himself relax.

     He focused on the gentle piano and plinking sounds that played. The tune was high and upbeat, and the keys of the piano subtle, almost as if the pianist were being careful. The odd noises playing in the background distracted him, and he felt safe. The sounds prompted his memories to come forth. From when the pair had been children, playing video games that Jungkook dominated at. When Taehyung would get angry and pick him up by the hips, and the exhilaration and adrenaline that made his lungs expand, and those same memories currently making his head swell with loneliness. Why couldn’t he just wake up with Taehyung’s arms around him? _Because he’ll never love you._

     It was like a punch to the stomach. Jungkook hadn't intended to think that. Not at all. His hyung loved him, just not in the way that Jungkook did. Although, Jungkook held his suspicions about the conversation the two had a couple of nights before. He wouldn’t let those suspicions slip, either. He wanted his hyung so bad. Physically and romantically, he wanted to be loved so badly. By Taehyung only, he was only in love with Taehyung, and he only wanted Taehyung to love him.

     The song ended, and Jungkook found himself wanting to listen to more, but the clock was chomping away his free time before he went back to hell. He was about to pick up his phone to ask one of his friends for a ride, but the answer presented itself right then and there. His hyung, Hoseok, had texted him before he got the chance to.

  
**Hobi:** i saw Tae leave without u in the car i'm coming to pick u up  
**Me:** Okay? I’ll see you then, stalker ;)  
**Hobi:** im not a stalker u nugget  
**Me:** Riiiiiight  
**Me:** Don’t call me a nugget when you are a horse

  
     Hoseok read the message but didn’t reply, informing Jungkook that he had made his hyung laugh, and he was driving. He was really good friends with Hobi, they met when Jungkook was in seventh grade, and they automatically clicked. Not to mention, Hobi was hot. Just like Seokjin, Hobi had always adored him like an older brother would. Jungkook felt spoiled most of the time, and he felt so, so precious around his Hobi hyung. He treated him like a prince, and Jungkook loved every second of it. He would spoil him with hugs and gifts and would say sweet things randomly.

     This made Jungkook not want to be in love, he only wanted Taehyung to love him back. Yoongi or Hobi might grow to like the maknae, but it was clear Taehyung wouldn’t really take him seriously. After all, he was like the baby of the friend group, being the youngest. He loved it when all of his hyung’s collectively complimented him and spoiled him. He felt so shy and loved when they treated him the way they did. Taehyung did baby him at times, but he never said all of the sweet things that Hoseok or any of the others did.

     Although, Taehyung did seem to get jealous when Jungkook was having a good time with his other hyungs, especially Hobi and Jimin, another one of his elders. Jungkook hung out with others most if not all of the time he felt okay enough to, but Jungkook hadn’t fully realized the jealousy that poured out of his Taehyung when he slung his arm around one of the others. For example, a habit that Hoseok developed was that he would put his hands on the maknae’s hips and every time Taehyung would swat them away and lift Jungkook by the hips to hug him. Jungkook always wrapped his legs around Taehyung’s torso, but the thing he didn’t miss was the look of anger and disappointment always on Hobi’s face.  
His Hobi never got mad at Jungkook, so why would he get mad when Taehyung picked him up? Jungkook had come to a few conclusions, but he doubted amy of them were true. Hobi could have just wanted alone time with the maknae, they were best friends after all. Then again, would that contribute to what Taehyung had said last night, and Taehyung would’ve gotten jealous all those times? Jungkook didn’t feel like thinking about the scarier things that were going to happen, so he tapped shuffle on his playlist and started to get ready for his hyung’s arrival.

     Jungkook threw on a plain white t-shirt, a pair of ripped blue jeans, and his signature Timberlands. He walked back down the hallway and into the bathroom once again. Checking to make sure he looked presentable, and reaching for the chapstick to make sure his lips remained soft. He spent his time lollygagging in the bathroom, waiting for Hoseok to show up and drive him to hell. Maybe this time wouldn’t be as bad, since he could tell his hyung anything and everything that was going on. It wasn’t like Taehyung, where he felt bad because he would scold the latter for not telling him his problems right away. Hoseok listened, and he listened carefully.

     He was just about to pick up his phone to distract himself, but a knock at the door sounded and Jungkook bolted down the steps. Once he reached the last step, he turned and whipped the door open. He wanted to tell his hyung what happened, and he wanted to feel better. Hoseok would help him do just that. Once he opened the door, he was met with a smirking Jung Hoseok. Jungkook wanted to cry, but he didn’t let himself. The look on the elder’s face told him everything, it told him that Hoseok would listen to everything the younger had to tell him.

     Anyone could tell that something was very wrong if the inseparable pair was separated, but Hoseok was special. Hoseok could usually tell if anything was going on in their friend circle, and he always tried to fix those problems. It got tiresome some of the time, but most if not all of them had their problems resolved in the end. Jungkook found himself tucked into his Hobi hyung’s chest, trying his hardest not to sob because Hoseok would’ve called everything off. He would’ve gotten mad at Taehyung and insisted that Jungkook stay home and heal.

     Jungkook wanted to tell his Hobi hyung everything, about how he felt towards Taehyung and how he didn’t feel towards girls. Hobi would understand, but he would want Jungkook to talk it out with Taehyung. Which Jungkook really, really, didn’t feel like doing. It would ruin everything, unless Jungkook’s suspicions were right about his hyung’s confession last Saturday night.

     Jungkook felt a single tear slip and that’s when Hoseok pulled away to look at the sixteen year old. Hoseok could feel his heart skip a beat at the look of pain that was shown on Jungkook’s face. The younger didn’t let any more tears fall, he didn’t want this to turn into something bigger than it already was. Hoseok put Jungkook under the utmost care and delicacy as one would a queen. Jungkook did find it the least bit strange, but he didn’t pay too much attention to the matter.

     “Jeonggukie, do you want to talk about this? We can skip and just talk. We don’t even have to talk about why you’re upset, we can just chill if you want to.” Hoseok spoke calmly, but not as much in a babyish tone as Taehyung would have. Taehyung might’ve gotten mad, and possibly lecture the maknae. What upset Jungkook the most when it came to Taehyung was that the elder never knew that Jungkook knew how he felt. Jungkook could tell how his hyung felt in a heartbeat, but Taehyung thought that Jungkook didn’t know.

     “My mom will be angry if I skip again without a reason. I’m obligated to go.” Jungkook spoke the truth, but he slightly wanted to see how Taehyung would react with him there, since he had classes with some close friends including Taehyung, who were touchy too. They loved to make fun and poke at and secretly hold hands with the maknae, and it made Taehyung extremely jealous. As Jungkook thought about this more and more, he realized that there was a big chance that Taehyung was in fact in love with Jungkook.  
Although, Jungkook wasn’t the happiest with his hyung currently. Jungkook wanted to poke fun at Taehyung’s jealousy, but he really didn’t want to at the same time. Considering his friends only stopped their actions when Taehyung told them to, or if Jungkook wasn’t in the mood and swatted them away… Maybe it wouldn’t be Jungkook’s fault if he just let his hyung’s do what they want? The only person who really had a problem with it was Taehyung, and if he didn’t send him any “Good morning” message or made an attempt to pick him up and drive him to school, who’s to say he’ll stop anyone?

     Jimin could tousle his hair, and Hoseok was free to secretly hold his hand under the table. Hoseok would place his hands on his hips, and Taehyung wouldn’t even do anything. Taehyung had made the first move, not Jungkook. That meant Taehyung had no say anymore, none at all. The teenager wasn’t exactly fond of all this “power” but it felt nice to not have to worry about being guarded at all times. He had gotten so deep in his thoughts he barely registered his Hobi hyung’s response.

     “You do have a reason, Kookie. You’re mentally wrecked. You don’t deserve to be treated like shit. You’re much too special, don’t let Taehyung make you think otherwise.” Jungkook didn’t want to let that happen, but he also wanted Taehyung to understand that he didn’t own him. We’re not dating, he’s not my dad. He doesn’t and shouldn’t have this much power over me. Jungkook was angry now.

      “I don’t want to let him know I stayed home because of him. Can we just go?” Hoseok smirked. He knew that Jungkook wanted indirect revenge, and the elder was going to help him. Hoseok had a special relationship with Jungkook, or at least he thought he did. He wanted to give the whole world to the younger boy, he was like his little brother and Hoseok loved to spoil him until no end.

     “Of course, Kook. Do you want to stop for coffee?” Jungkook liked the idea of coffee, and he liked the idea of a quiet environment before heading into the complete and utter chaos that was high school. Jungkook nodded his head and grinned his bunny toothed smile, watching Hoseok’s eyes soften and his smirk melt into a heartfelt smile. Hoseok had never been near something so precious to him in his life.

 

     Hoseok held the door open for the maknae, and hooked his arm around his shoulder after he stepped in after the teen. Jungkook was thankful for the arm that wrapped protectively around his shoulders by the taller man, the coffee shop was chilly. A kind looking barista welcomed them into the quaint cafe, and offered to show them to a table. Jungkook matched his steps with Hoseok’s, trying his hardest not to step on the back of the elder’s shoes. Hoseok stopped abruptly to thank the waitress, and Jungkook ran right into his back. He made a slight “uhmpf” sound and waited for his hyung to turn around and “scold” him.

     Jungkook held his laughter in the best he could as Hoseok plastered the angriest look he could muster onto his face. The pair laughed, and sat down across from each other in the roomy booth. Hoseok reached over to grab a menu, but Jungkook beat him to it. As Jungkook snatched the menus and then proceeded to place them back down, unaware of what his next actions would be, Hoseok noticed a familiar figure step out of a familiar car. Hoseok had driven a BMW to the small coffee shop, but he had no idea he’d be seeing a very recognizable Porsche pull up on the side of the street.

     “Jeongguk, I don’t know if you’ll want to stay here much longer.” The elder tried his best not to sound too suspicious or anxious, but he didn’t want the younger boy having an anxiety attack right before school. Although, Jungkook seemed anxious enough at his hyung’s comment. His bunny toothed smile drained from his face and was replaced with a look of confusion.

     “Hobi hyung? What’s wrong?” Jungkook was already scared, he was smart enough to figure out what was happening. The look on Hoseok’s face said it all, said it more than words could. All of a sudden, Hoseok hopped up and sat himself right up against Jungkook. The elder positioned the teen by making it seem like Jungkook was basically sitting in his lap. Hoseok hooked his arm around Jungkook’s and pretended to be very interested in their breakfast options.  
Hoseok spoke louder than necessary.

     “Jeonggukie, what would you like to eat? I’ll pay for your meal, so you don’t have to worry about that.” Hoseok really had understood what Jungkook meant in their conversation held at the younger’s doorstep earlier this morning. Jungkook played his shy card and gripped the neckline of Hoseok’s shirt, the blush that spread across his face unintentional.

  
     “Can we share something Hobi hyung? Please?” He tightened his hold on Hoseok’s shirt, and he felt his hyung grasp his thigh, in Taehyung’s line of sight. Jungkook could pretty much feel Taehyung’s eyes burning straight into their hands and where they were placed, and the contact between him and Hoseok didn't feel right at all. As his hyung was basically feeling him up, the younger let out a little groan for emphasis, which he desperately hoped Taehyung hadn’t noticed.

     “Of course Kook, how about-” Slam! Jungkook hadn’t even noticed the sharp footsteps approaching until Taehyung’s hands had slammed down on the table. Taehyung had the whole cafe glance over for a brief moment before they ignored it and went back on to their daily routines. It’s funny how so many people believed that ignorance really was bliss.

     “What the fuck do you think you’re doing Ho-shit? You think this is fucking funny? Jungkook is mine and he’ll never not be. I’m so sick and tired of all this bullshit, you trying to prove Jungkook “likes you more” than he likes me? You have no power over this, you know Jungkook is the only one I’ve ever really-” Taehyung stopped mid sentence, partly because of what he was about to say, but the expression of anger that Jungkook had displayed on his face was indescribable.

     “I’m y-yours? What the hell? Am I some toy that you guys fight over? Is that all you t-think of me?” Jungkook was so anxious and so angry that he had trouble forming his words. Jungkook wanted to scream and cry and have someone hold him and make him feel better. Jungkook tried his absolute hardest not to let the tears begin to flow. He managed to hold back the threatening waves of sorrow, but his vision blurred a bit and obscured his view of the man he was still so madly in love with.

     “Taehyung, you should fucking leave. Get the fuck out you son of a bitch.” Jungkook felt his stomach drop as he watched Taehyung silently agree, turning to leave, but that’s not what Jungkook wanted. The maknae he forced his hand to reach out and grab Taehyung by the wrist. Taehyung turned his head back and looked Jungkook dead in the eye. The younger built up his courage and whispered to the love of his life,

“Save me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting a bit late, I've been busy with school and such but THANK YOU for the support I've been shown :')  
> New chapter should be up on Monday (April 3) if school doesn't overwhelm me again<3


	6. At last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, their love has come to be.

 

        “To be or not to be: that is the question.

         Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer

         The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

         Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

         Any by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

         No more; and by a sleep to say we end

         The heartache and the thousand natural shocks

         That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation

         Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;”

     A child without a father is like an ocean without waves. An ocean that lies stagnant is unusual, as is a child without a parent is seen as irresponsible. For one to lose their lover is one of the hardest catastrophes someone can experience. Jungkook, however, had no intention of letting his loved one slip away. He was too fed up with hiding how he felt and falling into everyone else’s footsteps. Being normal felt unusual to Jungkook, all he wanted to do was fall out of line.

     Jungkook didn’t feel like being normal anymore. A teenager was supposed to figure out what they wanted to do with their life, having to go to college and such. All things considered, Jungkook knew what he wanted to do with his life. Currently at least. He had so much pent up anger and anxiety, he figured he could use that positively. Jungkook began thinking of ways to use this, pondering over the idea that maybe he could finally tell his hyung everything. There had been too many negative things caused by Jungkook holding all of his emotions in, instead he felt like spilling all of those secrets. To Jungkook, confessing just seemed like a necessity now.

     So, he took another shower and planned out how the conversation would go, but not forgetting to remember the events that had happened a couple of hours earlier. Taehyung had taken the maknae’s hand, and dragged him straight out of the booth that housed the two friends. Jungkook’s hand had smacked across the newly delivered coffee, and the youngest spilled it all over the table and himself. He merely missed his Hobi hyung, which meant he merely escaped punishment and shame. Jungkook considered himself lucky in this situation. It all happened so fast, but it felt like an eternity ago that Taehyung had such a painful look in his eyes. By the look of betrayal, Jungkook didn’t know if he was going to be forgiven very easily.

     After reminiscing the previous conversations he’d had, he began to plan out the next ones. Jungkook was done pretending, he was done hiding how he felt when his feelings were so strong. Living his life denying himself, making sure nobody could tell how he felt, holding all of this in was frankly pure torture. Why should he fight love? It wasn’t wrong to love someone, but it was going to be one of the hardest things to finally confess to his hyung. The hyung he was so deeply in love with since he pretty much first laid eyes on him. Even if Jungkook hadn’t realized he was romantically in love with Taehyung, he’d always been in love with his confidence, and his happiness.

     Taehyung usually had a smile on his face, and was supporting no matter what Jungkook did. Whenever Jungkook had a decision he wasn’t sure about, Taehyung would give the younger his full undivided attention and his best advice. Jungkook was never let down, even if the advice had failed. Because even if the advice turned out to be absolute dog shit waffle stomped down a drain, Taehyung tried. He fully thought about it for answering, and he stuck with Jungkook throughout the whole entire process. The elder had told him time and time again that he wouldn’t ever leave him, and hell if Jungkook didn’t believe it. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in his hyung’s arms, tell him he loved him, and have kisses placed everywhere the eye could see. He wanted to be loved by his hyung, so, so badly. So, Jungkook was going to stop pretending. The teen was going to stop the vicious cycle that caused him a half of the immense pain that took over his life.

     There was no guarantee that Taehyung would return his feelings, or that he would even welcome them. The risk that was going to take place very soon was nothing but apparent to Jungkook, but who was he to not accept a challenge. He took on challenges every day, some worse than others, but today he was going to wake life the fuck up. Jungkook wanted to beat the shit out of his fears, all of his anxiety and depression, and especially all of the things he worried the most about. Today, he was going to do just that. Living had been a choice for Jungkook all his life, but Taehyung was the one who made it an obligation.

     Choices was never a strong suit of Jungkook’s, but this choice was one he was very sure about. Before today, he never would’ve considered confessing to his hyung, or being so daring as to defy his morals. But now? Now, Jungkook was just about ready to spill this secret he’s been housing for years and years. Years and years of hidden love and anger and anxiety that has all built up, enough for Jungkook to want to confess. He would tell his hyung everything, how his hands felt so comforting when they wrapped around him in a hug, or how his jealousy was sometimes cute and his protectiveness made him feel so special.

     Whether it would end with Jungkook apologizing for all this shock being placed upon his hyung all at once, or if Taehyung would apologize for leading him on all this time and tell him his feelings couldn’t be returned. Whatever happened, Jungkook promised himself that he’d be proud for having all this courage and confidence to want to tell Taehyung everything. Maybe Taehyung would go and tell everyone, his secret would be out and he’d lose all the friends he’s made throughout the years. Jungkook knew people like Jimin, Hoseok, and maybe even Yoongi would stick around, so he had that to count on.

     Hoseok and Jimin even mentioned once before that they have friends that are gay, so that led Jungkook to believe that it’d be okay. Every circumstance had a small sliver of hope and survival. Jungkook knew the bad areas of the outcomes would lead to worsening depression, eternal trust issues, and a whole new case of anxiety. Although, why wasn’t Jungkook allowed to express how he felt? He’d gotten countless confessions from girls he hadn’t even known, and some from girls he’d known for a few years. They have the freedom to show their love, and so does Jungkook. It’s no different. I love him, and I’m going to confess just like any other person would.

     Jungkook had been in the shower for who knows how long, with Taehyung awaiting him in the family room. The younger boy made it a necessity that Taehyung had gone in the family room that was to the left of Jungkook’s room, because Jungkook had his pastels laid out, along with some movies that always left Jungkook teary eyed. He was planning to come home, wear his softest, most colorful sweater, maybe FaceTime Hoseok or have him come over, (Although that would mean he’d have to dumb down his soft side) eat junk food, and cry over sappy movies. He pictured himself dabbing a tissue under both of his eyes, pressing his fingers into the corner of his eyes, trying not to cry. His Hobi hyung would giggle at him and hold him, telling him not to cry. But sometimes it just felt so good after he cried with someone there to reassure him.

      Fortunately, he now pictured himself in someone else’s arms. Well, possibly. If Plan B didn’t work, he’d resume Plan A and go running to Hoseok. Hoseok would comfort him if something happened, without a doubt. As Jungkook began to imagine the worst case scenarios once again, he abruptly turned the shower off, ripped a towel off of the hook, and sprinted to his room. Going out on a limb, he picked through his fluffy sweaters and snatched up a baby blue one, and he made sure it was one of his softest. He stood in the mirror for a second, admiring the length, the small amount of lace that decorated the cuff’s and the collar, and the beautiful color. If Taehyung wasn’t suspicious at this, Jungkook wasn’t sure what exactly would make his curiosity rise.

     Prancing over to his dresser now, feeling confident with the comfy sweater hanging loose on his shoulders, nearly exposing his collarbones. He picked out a pair of tight but comfortable black jeans that went up to about his bellybutton, caressing his slim figure. He buttoned and zipped them, and slipped on a clean pair of white socks. Jungkook felt his heart hammer in his chest, but he forced himself to take deep breathes, and he told himself to remember the good things that would come of this. All of the good things outruled the bad by so much.

     “I believe in you, Jeon Jungkook.” He spoke to himself quietly, and slowly stepped out of his room. He stopped, threw his phone halfway across the room onto his bed, and proceeded his descent to the steps. His foot hit the first step gently, followed by the second, and the third, fifth, fourth, and eventually the last step. Feet connected with hardwood and no longer the fluffy white carpet, and Jungkook’s stomach sunk. Jungkook had made Taehyung stay with him, not doubting that he wouldn’t have done so anyway, but the younger boy made it seem very urgent.

     Jungkook wasn’t aware that when the time came, there would be multiple claws of now scalding hot anxiety that was beginning to consume him. The anxiety that was once icy and freezing, that came in a single, five fingered claw, was now burning. It wrapped itself around every strand of hair that resided on Jungkook’s body, and made it obligatory that Jungkook felt petrified. In that exact moment, Jungkook was the most scared he’d ever been. Even the time that Jungkook’s father had first hit him, had first verbally abused him, had first broken his door and his walls and broken him and beaten him. He’d been dragged by the hair, he’d nearly been stabbed, he’d been beaten and shattered and crushed and damaged and mangled too many times.

     All that anxiety combined was nothing _near_ to what he felt currently. He was so scared of being hurt, of being picked on, of seeming disgusting to his hyung, that he just couldn’t think straight. A memory suddenly pierced Jungkook, as he was gripping the railing to the stairs, digging his nails into his palm. He remembered all those times Taehyung had made him feel fearless, had made Jungkook feel so loved. _Wouldn’t it just be perfect if Taehyung loved you back? So great, right? Well he won’t._

     Jungkook was taken aback by his thoughts. In no way did Jungkook think that Taehyung would ever really be in love with him the same way Jungkook was. Nor did Jungkook think Taehyung would leave him altogether, or stay altogether. In fact, Jungkook didn’t know what the fuck to expect. By now, he was tired of that laughable voice that spoke to him in his head. You could say Jungkook was angry at it, but it was much more than that. Jungkook was bitter, fuming, infuriated, enraged, at this wicked voice that wouldn’t shut up. For lack of better term, Jungkook was over it.

     So, he picked himself up, unhooked his hand from the railing, and marched right into his living room. The maknae’s eyes found Taehyung, his handsome, precious, beautiful Taehyung. The Taehyung that was his best friend. The Taehyung that he’d fallen in love with in first grade, with boxy smiles and crinkly eyes shot across the hallway, straight into Jungkook’s little chest. Jungkook didn’t know until later on exactly what that feeling was. Taehyung had his legs spread, wearing a pair of combat boots, jeans, and a nice blue button down. Jungkook blushed upon realizing that he was dressed so informally, and they were matching.

     With the blush creeping up his neck, it became heavier once Taehyung’s gaze met his own. His eyes were soft, he half expected his hyung to be angry, or impatient, but he was anything but. Taehyung’s eyes looked a bit red, as if he had been crying or rubbing at them, and Jungkook let out a small gasp. Taehyung moved from his position, which he’d been resting his elbows on his knees, and leaned back in the loveseat. _Let’s fucking do this._

     Jungkook strutted over to the couch that sat opposite Taehyung, and took a deep breath. Taehyung’s gaze burned into him, expectant but not harsh. The elder’s eyes glistened, and Jungkook saw something flash in them. Something sad and sullen. _Does he think I’m about to diss him or something?_

     “Hyung, I’ve got something important to tell you.” Jungkook wasn’t sure why, but his eyes were beginning to tear up, and he was so focused on not stuttering that he didn’t even notice how much his voice wavered. Taehyung looked about as emotional as Jungkook assumed he did, on the verge of tears. In Taehyung’s mind, this was the moment where their friendship ended, where it all came to a grinding halt. Jungkook would be done with his extreme jealousy and all of the douchey stuff he’d said to the younger. But that was the absolute opposite.

     “This is going to be hard for me to say, because I’m scared of what’s going to happen afterwards. Even so, I just wanted to get this off my chest and-” Jungkook had to pause to take a deep breath, because the tears had started to flow. “And I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. I am who I am because of you, and I’m a much stronger person than the kid I was in fifth grade. You built me up so much and I look up to you and I feel so protected and special and nobody else makes me feel this way. I’ve lost too many people because they’re afraid they’re going to ‘catch the suicide’ or ‘develop anxiety’ or even because they just thought I was doing all of this to get attention but you made and continue to make me whole. But through the whole thing, since third grade you’ve stayed by my side throughout everything. I know this is going to be cheesy but-” Jungkook was lucky to get two full sentences out in between his sobs.

     “Hyung you mean the absolute world to me, and I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. All those times where you’ve held me, told me my arms were beautiful even with the scars, and the times you’ve cried with me. All of that just made me realize how in love I am with you. Taehyung hyung I’ve been in love with you for so long. I don’t even- I think it was like third grade but I didn’t realize until sixth grade that I’m so madly in love with you. I love you so much, and yeah I’m gay. I’m so not attracted to girls as much as I’m attracted to you or guys in general. I just- I love you, hyung.” Jungkook took a breath in. After babbling for so long, his throat felt dry, even after the snot that had begun to flood his nostrils or the tears that were streaming down his face. It felt good to cry, but he couldn’t look his hyung in the face. He was ashamed, and with no response emitted from the elder, Jungkook could only imagine the worse. Dragging a sweater paw across his face to maybe alleviate the pressure he felt underneath his skin, but in no way trying to stop the tears or wipe them away. Blinking the tears out of his eyes, he was too busy trying not to feel so extremely ashamed towards the situation that he didn’t even realize the approaching man coming to hold both of his thumbs under Jungkook’s eyes.

     Without any words, he picked Jungkook up bridal style, and plopped them both down on a roomier couch. With Jungkook in his lap, Taehyung kissed his cheek, and wiped away the younger’s tears. Jungkook was very surprised at his hyung’s actions. Taehyung wrapped his arms around the younger boy, and lifted Jungkook so that he sat straddling his thighs. Jungkook let out a slight yelp through his slowly halting tears, and finally look Taehyung in the face. The maknae was astonished to find a single tear slide down his hyung’s face.

     “Jeon Jeongguk you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you too. I love you so much that I can barely breathe. That’s why I get so jealous and I got so mad that you were so close to Hoseok. I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry. I’ll ruin you. I have ruined you.” Jungkook was sobbing so hard by now, and it absolutely wrecked Taehyung.

     “No, Taehyung hyung. If we love each other I want to be happy. I want to be happy so badly. You make me happy, even if you think you don’t. Maybe I’ve been hurt a few times, but your flaws make me love you even more. Do you know how anxious I was about this? Do you know the risk I just took? If you didn’t respond the way you did do you know how broken I’d be? I don’t even know if your answer was truthful, just because of the way I am and the shit I deal with. But you know what? If you said no, if you had gotten disgusted and left I’d still be so in love with you. I’d love you as much as I do right in this moment, because you’re Taehyung, and you mean everything to me.” Jungkook could talk all day about why he’d fallen in love with Taehyung, and why he’d always be in love with Taehyung.

     Taehyung was still so shell shocked at Jungkook’s words, he didn’t know how to respond. Jungkook raised his sweater paws and cupped his hyung’s cheeks. He had such an adoring look on his face, still so surprised that the love of his life had loved him all this time. An apology would be dished out later on for being so sappy, but he completely fell for Taehyung all over again, with every look.

     “Jungkook you’re so precious. I know I’ve said sorry before but I mean it more than ever now. I’m sorry for scolding you and lecturing you, I just felt so helpless and I didn’t know what else to do. I promise I’ll treat you like a princess, and I promise to love you and you only. I can really call you mine now, can’t I, love?” Jungkook nodded enthusiastically but managing to be shy at the same time, with his heart leaping to his chest with excitement.

     “Jeonggukie, can I kiss you?” At this moment, Jungkook wanted to rip his fucking clothes off, but that was simply not his character.

     “Hyung I-I’ve never kissed anyone before. I don’t know if you’ll want to.” Jungkook wasn’t lying, and he wasn’t intending to play shy either.

     “We can spend time cuddling today, but it’s alright if you’re not experienced, I’ll teach you.” Taehyung drew out the sentence with a growl and a smirk, but he wanted to make sure Jungkook was okay with his actions. The elder was aware that Jungkook was a virgin to kissing, and a virgin in general. Which Jungkook was extremely embarrassed about, since Taehyung now knew mostly everything about the maknae. Jungkook nodded his head, in a shy manner that made Taehyung nearly groan.

     Taehyung grabbed the back of Jungkook’s neck, and leaned his own head up to meet the younger’s. To Jungkook, it was agonizingly slow and near painful. After all, he’d really been waiting for this moment his whole life. Aching to feel his hyung’s lips on his own, he leaned down slightly to speed up the process, which Taehyung chuckled at. Not wanting Taehyung to comment something snarky, he surged forward a bit, not enough for their lips to connect but enough to distract the elder. Smirking, Taehyung finally leaned in and closed the space that no longer resided between the two lovers.

     Kissing for Jungkook was awkward at first, but he absolutely melted at how wonderful Taehyung’s lips felt against his own. They were velvety and smooth, at which Jungkook let out a soft moan, delving in the plush and soft flesh. Occasionally, the lips that were kissing Jungkook’s became needy and hungry, going in a little rougher but it never lasted long. Taehyung began to pull away, since they were both beginning to lose their breath. The older boy hooked his teeth on Jungkook’s bottom lip, pulling it along with him until releasing the baby soft flesh. During this process, Jungkook being the virgin he is, let out an unintentional whimper. _I fucking whimpered._

     A pretty, cherry dyed blush spread throughout Jungkook’s cheeks and neck, making him feel hot all over. Taehyung looked at him with a starved gaze, tongue swiping over his lips. A slight growl sounded from the back of the elder’s throat, a deep and husky sound that made Jungkook shiver. The younger knew he should wait until later on in the relationship, or if there is one per say, for things that he himself hadn’t experienced but he sure as hell wanted to.

     “Did you like that, baby boy?” _Holy shit. Maybe he is a sex god._ No doubt Jungkook had heard the rumors of the older boy ‘doing things’ with senior girls, but he didn’t know what to think of them now. Jungkook knew Taehyung would’ve told him, but for his own sake he never asked. Biting his bottom lip, Jungkook nodded and buried his head in his hyung’s shoulder. He’d never felt safer or more valued than at that very moment.

     Taehyung slowly moved his hands from their position at Jungkook’s neck to move his shirt and place them on the maknae’s hips. It was something that Taehyung did frequently, but it had never been as intimate as right now. Long fingers wrapped themselves around Jungkook’s waist, firm but gentle. Everything felt so surreal to Jungkook in that moment. The love of his life loved him back, someone who he’d never thought would be interested in a guy. Especially since Taehyung was his best friend, the younger had never ever thought love between them was a possible thing. All Jungkook had ever thought was that his whole life he’d live with unrequited love. _Apparently not._

     “Tae, I don’t think we should stay home much longer. I’ve been away from school enough days and if my dad finds out he’ll hurt me again.” Taehyung knew about the situation, and the difficulty of it. He definitely didn’t approve, and he’d offered many times for the younger to just live at his house. Jungkook couldn’t just live with Taehyung, because his father wanted him home. Who else would take care of the house and clean and leave his father meals in the fridge so the elder didn’t have to cook himself. Nobody would, his father was a cheating, lying bastard that deserved to be lonely the rest of his life.

     “He can’t hurt you if you’re at my house, with me. Doesn’t that sound like a good idea, love? We can be all alone.” The thought of being alone with Taehyung while he was obviously horny scared the younger boy just a bit, since he didn’t want to rush far into the relationship too quickly. Kissing was nice, but the fact that he was so inexperienced embarrassed the younger boy. He didn’t want Taehyung to think any different of him, since Taehyung had lost his virginity a couple years ago. Jungkook remembered being in immense pain, but that was one of the things he’d trained himself to forget.

     “I’ll have to come home eventually so can I maybe crash there for the week?” Jungkook was shy asking this question, since he knew Taehyung’s father would have several questions about why Jungkook would be living at his house for the next week. His mother wouldn’t be as suspicious, but he didn’t want to raise any unwanted questions. Taehyung gripped his thigh and the look of hunger arose in his face again.

     “Of course baby boy. I’ll spoil you, my princess, okay?” Jungkook popped out his bottom lip and pouted.

     “I’m not a baby anymore. I’m a big boy, remember?” Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest, eager to play along with the ‘game’ they had created.

     “Jeonggukie, you’ll always be baby boy to me. Nothing will change that, understand?” Taehyung definitely liked to be in control, and Jungkook could tell that he was going to be a very protective boyfriend. _Can I even call him that yet? Fuck._

     “Tae Tae, we’re not even dating yet, you can’t call me that.” Jungkook spoke with a lighter but daring tone, not knowing how his hyung would respond. As the conversation grew, Jungkook noticed himself become more and more brave. The younger boy knew he could be himself now, and he’d always dreamed of having this type of relationship with Taehyung.

     “Well then, baby boy. Jeon Jeongguk, will you be my boyfriend?” Even though they had already kissed, Jungkook melt all over again. He felt his eyes begin to tear up again, at how hypnagogic this situation was. He felt like crying again, because he really couldn’t believe what was going on. Taehyung made an ‘awh’ sound, and carded his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. Like always, Taehyung without fail placed his thumbs under Jungkook’s eyelids on top of where his tear duct was.

     “Yes, yes of course I will. I love you, hyung.” Jungkook wanted to sob all over again. He felt like he was proposed to, and he absolutely adored how much Taehyung was involved in this. Taehyung didn’t judge him in the least, and it made Jungkook so endlessly happy. This was exactly what Jungkook had needed. Bliss and happiness was finally reached for Jungkook and most likely Taehyung as well. Jungkook remembered wanting to be this happy, and be held in Taehyung’s arms. Love is a beautiful thing, and Taehyung and Jungkook’s beautiful thing wasn’t going to last for a short period of time.

 

 

 

     The pair did eventually go to Taehyung’s house, where they proceeded to cuddle and watch sappy movies and online shopped for each other. Slipping in some meaningful comments along the way, Taehyung decided it’d be best for the pair to partake in some brain games. The two were neck and neck with trivia games, and Jungkook stumped the elder when it came to a question about some social studies question that they learned in seventh or eighth grade. Jungkook had already known that Taehyung was smarter than most people realized, but he had no idea he remembered math formulas and molecular movement and the periodic table from the sixth grade.

     Sixth grade was a wild time for Jungkook, he hammered the whole periodic table of elements into his brain, and from time to time he still had the jingle stuck in his head. _Hydrogen and helium, lithium, beryllium…_

     “If you can sing at least half of the elements song you can pick which video game we play.” Jungkook spluttered out, doubling over in laughter at the look of disbelief that Taehyung displayed.

     “Okay what if I can name half of them, just not in order.” Bargaining his way out of the situation was Taehyung’s last hope, since he knew Jungkook would pick Mario Kart and almost if not always dominated. Jungkook loved to play Mario Kart, it was no doubt one of his favorite things. So if you love to do something, you must be good at it, right? Not always, but in these terms, yes. Jungkook was absolutely fantastic at Mario Kart, and just video games in general. Jungkook had recently introduced Overwatch to Taehyung, which the older boy wasn’t so horrible at, but of course Jungkook was amazing at.

     “Mario Kart it is.”

     “Fuck.” Taehyung cursed himself and prepared to lose. He didn’t put any real malice behind his words, and smirked so that Jungkook blushed that pretty color that he did. The cherry tint reminded Taehyung of a kitty cocktail that they shared when they were younger. It was about a week after Jungkook told Taehyung about his anxiety and depression, around the time when Jungkook was about twelve. Taehyung had tried to make one himself to cheer the younger up, but later that night his mother took them both to a very expensive dinner. That was the same night Jungkook taught Taehyung how to tie a tie, and the same night Jungkook realized Taehyung’s clothes were much too big for the twelve year old.

      The trio dug out the smallest suit Taehyung owned, from a couple years ago. Jungkook was much smaller back then, but since then Jungkook grew, and they were nearly the same size currently. Taehyung’s mother thought that the pair was the cutest thing, and insisted on taking several pictures during their small trip. Surprise was the emotion that was felt the most for Jungkook that night, and he tried to refuse multiple times since he felt bad that Taehyung’s mother would pay such a large amount for the younger boy that wasn’t even hers.

     Taehyung’s mother loved him like her own, a second son. Jungkook’s mother was barely present in Jungkook’s life, even today. She didn’t like to be involved with Mr. Jeon, so she stayed out of the situation completely. That was the way she coped, by avoiding and hoping with all her heart that things got better. Maybe that’s where Jungkook got that sense of hopelessness, since he had to have inherited it from somewhere. Jungkook snapped himself out of his thoughts, and shifted his attention back to what was currently going on with the game the pair was about to play.

     “I mean, I’m ready to win but I don’t know about you, Kim Taehyung.” Flashing his bunny toothed smile, Jungkook began his friendly smack talk, never not participating in an opportunity to poke fun at his hyung.

     “Just you wait, Jungkook-ah. I’m going to _fuckin’_ win today.” Taehyung bit his bottom lip and punched the air, making Jungkook cringe, followed by a smile. _I have such a dorky boyfriend._ He surprised himself, so freely calling his boyfriend his boyfriend, without being very shy. The younger boy expected himself to be much shier than he was being, much more hesitant to explain to Taehyung why he loved him and that he loves him in general. Over all, Jungkook was so done with not having control over his own life. He let depression and anxiety rule over him, tower over him and he didn’t have any desire to surpass them. It felt so good to finally overcome all of that, and Jungkook was so proud of himself for telling that to the love of his life. Even Taehyung had mentioned how proud he was of the younger boy, having surpassed such a major part of his life.

     So the now extremely inseparable pair sat there, switching from video game to video game, Taehyung getting to plant a kiss on Jungkook’s lips if he won. (Which Jungkook may have purposely lost for.) Reminiscing, kissing, and making new memories, the pair was content. They were happy with their lives, but Jungkook knew there was still some bad to come. With Taehyung, he felt he could beat the shit out of whatever obstacle he had to overcome next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE SHIT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. Smut will happen next chapter or the chapter after that, who knows?


	7. Pancakes and Rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's another big leap in their relationship, and Jungkook decides he's ready for yet another big step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY!!!!! My internet was out for about a month and I've been really sick, but I'll post regularly from now on. Also, smut will be up in the next chapters, so the few who read this fanfic will have a nice experience ;)

     Saving a life is not easy. Being a friend is easy, but keeping friends is even harder. Saving a life and remaining friends is very hard, harder than you’d think. It’s hard because afterwards you know things about a person you never knew before. That can really change things in a relationship. But the ones who stick around you really know you need to keep forever. Jungkook knew that Taehyung would be here for him forever, but what did Taehyung think of him now? They were dating happily, for about a week now and Taehyung had been so loving. Although, he paid utmost attention to the younger’s arms and wrists. It made Jungkook a bit uncomfortable, since that was where his scars were.

     Jungkook hadn’t cut in a long time, mostly because of Taehyung and he knew how upset the elder would get if he’d found out. When the latter did cut, it was one of the worst times in his life. Taehyung was in a relationship, and his father had beaten him. He gave him vulgar names that weren’t his own and refused to let the younger boy stand. Jungkook was punched and kicked and slapped and pinned down and scratched so much that the scars that he placed on his arms later were barely noticeable compared to the ones his father gave him. The worst part of it all was not being able to tell anyone. His father had said if he told anyone his mother would be gone from him forever and his father would disown him. The young boy wouldn’t be able to see his grandparents, or any member of his family.

     Even if Jungkook wanted to stay away from his father, and never live with him again, he couldn’t. He was his father, and that’s an eternal tie that you can’t get rid of. There had been moments in Jungkook’s childhood where his father made him happy, played football or basketball with him in the front yard or even taken him to the park. Those memories are the only things he wants to remember, because they had made him so happy to know that his father really did care about him, and he wanted to help the young, anxious little boy with big dreams. Looking back on that now, Jungkook realizes it was all a game. A horrific cycle of love, hate, and apologies. That cycle hadn’t stopped to this day, but the love had since been replaced with ignorance. The saying “ignorance is bliss” really pissed Jungkook off, because it was most definitely not bliss.

     Trying to forget those memories, he turned around in Taehyung’s bed to face the older boy. Jungkook had to hoist Taehyung’s arm back over himself because it had been draped over Jungkook. Taehyung stirred a bit, but went back to his previous state. Taehyung with his shirt off was sure a sight for sore eyes. He stared at the rippling muscles that swelled every time he breathed out. Longing to touch them, Jungkook untucked his hand from his chest and reached out to graze the rock hard abs. Jungkook was right, they really felt like iron, and not to mention his arms. They were so buff, Jungkook found himself wondering where Taehyung found the time for working out. Jungkook wasn’t exactly buff but he wasn’t as lanky as he made himself out to be.

     As Jungkook let his hands wander back and forth between his hyung’s abs and arms, Taehyung found himself waking up to a pleasant sensation on his arms and stomach. He opened the slits on his face and glanced downward. A brown tuft of hair was hidden against the blue blanket that covered Jungkook that he was wearing over the thick, white covers. Taehyung realized the hands belonged to Jungkook, and oh how soft. Taehyung felt his heart flutter, while politely telling it to shut up so he wasn’t noticeably flustered in front of the younger boy. Reaching his own hand out, Taehyung grasped that same tuft of Jungkook’s hair that had been peeking out, which elicited a soft gasp from the younger. Jungkook looked up with swollen eyes, a blush automatically seeping onto his cheeks.

     “You’ve noticed baby haven’t you?” Taehyung had an adoring smile on his face, and Jungkook wanted to lean up and kiss the older boy, which he did. Jungkook planted a gentle kiss on his hyung’s lips, and Taehyung returned it.

     “Of course I have, hyung. You’ve gotten so muscular.” Jungkook resumed his process of letting his hands wander across Taehyung’s sturdy figure. Taehyung smirked at the captivating manor of his unknowing boyfriend. Although the cuteness was a big factor, Taehyung still found himself sexually frustrated, but he had no intent of pushing Jungkook to do something he didn’t want to do. Especially when it was sex.

     “I work out so when we fu-”

     “JUNGKOOK. I MADE YOU BREAKFAST.” Taehyung had been cut off by a very persistent Mrs. Kim, who had a certain urgency to make Jungkook feel more at home than he ever has. She also made sure Jungkook could always hear her, even though she definitely didn’t need to yell as loud as she did.

     “Eomma, why don’t I get any?” Taehyung wasn’t exactly surprised, but he’d expected his mother to at least offer him cereal. She had been making grand meals for the younger boy ever since he came here, and they were even supposed to go shopping today so he could have a complete wardrobe change. Jungkook didn’t exactly feel the best about that, in fact he felt guilty, but he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t like it that someone was going to spend a lot of money on him, but Taehyung insisted that his princess needed to be spoiled. Taehyung did want to spoil Jungkook, he wanted to spoil the hell out of him, and he intended to do so.

     “BECAUSE JEONGGUK IS OUR GUEST. YOU BOYS COME DOWN HERE.” Giggling, he placed a single kiss on Taehyung’s collar bone and threw the covers off him, but wrapping the blue blanket around himself, since the air in this house was very chilly. Taehyung didn’t bother to throw on a shirt and scrambled after his petite boyfriend. Taehyung was almost a foot taller than Jungkook, which made more of a difference than it seemed. So, to Taehyung his boyfriend was petite. The younger boy was on the skinny side, which made him seem shorter. Even Taehyung had noticed that Jungkook indeed had muscle on his arms and legs, and a well toned stomach.

     By the time the pair had reached the bottom step, the smell had drifted to their noses, but it didn’t excite Taehyung as much as it did Jungkook. The older boy kept the relaxed, almost sexy look on his face, but Jungkook’s face lit up at the delicious smell. Jungkook stuck out his hand for Taehyung to hold, at which Taehyung took his hand out of his Adidas sweatpants pocket and placed a large hand into the small one. Mrs. Kim loved that the boys were so close, and thought nothing of their touchy relationship. Maybe she did, but Jungkook paid no mind. His mother would think much differently if the two were to act this way in front of her.

     When the duo walked into the beautifully decorated kitchen, Jungkook immediately felt his stomach growl. He had gotten used to the perfectly crafted kitchen, so he never gasped as he did when he was a kid. The Kim residence had a nice granite countertop with an island in the middle, and a hood was housed over the oven. The pretty cherry wood that covered the floor was polished, as maids came early in the morning to be paid a great sum for cleaning their house. The handles on the cabinets were a gleamy silver, and the silverware perfect, with no scratch marks whatsoever. Jungkook had trouble keeping up with how many times they were polished by Mrs. Kim herself.

     The kitchen cut off into a carpeted family room, with a brilliant white color which contrasted with the gray walls. Black couches brought out the white carpet, with real animal fur blankets and a 70 inch flat screen television. Old fashioned books and cute little knick knacks that made the room fully decorated. A fireplace burning made the room cozy against the freeze that struck the outside world. The family room cut off into a mini movie theatre, with a popcorn and soft drink machine. Taehyung had acquired a large array of movies both on disk and with the selection from Netflix. Jungkook had seen the house go through various changes since the first time he set foot into the mansion. All of this was normal to Taehyung, including the fancy dinners and frequent shopping trips, but he surprisingly didn’t take much of it for granted. He always made sure he thanked his mother and father for the purchases they made for Taehyung, and the generous allowance he received each week. Both of his parents had inherited very large amounts of money from their parents, and high paying jobs accommodated that by a handful. Out of all of the things they’ve bought Taehyung and even Jungkook, including the house, they still have a very big amount from what their parents separately had given to the Kim’s.

     “Good morning darling, and good morning Taehyung. How’d you sleep, darling?” Jungkook was okay with Taehyung’s mother calling him darling, because he felt cared for, and she’d been calling him that since he first set foot in their house. She treated Jungkook like a second child, and she loved him just as much as she loved Taehyung. Mrs. Kim spoiled Jungkook as much as Taehyung did, too.

      “I slept very well, Taehyung’s bed is like a cloud.” Jungkook had slept with Taehyung countless times, and it was normal to them because they were best friends, and it was nothing new to them. Now that they were dating, it took a few days for Jungkook to get completely used to having Taehyung constantly curled up against him. Although, Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep properly if he were to sleep without Taehyung now. He was so used to the beautiful warmth and husky breath that made Jungkook sleep like a baby. Sleeping wasn’t exactly an easy task for Jungkook, but with Taehyung he found it effortless.

     “Oh that’s wonderful! You can have that one and Taehyung can sleep in the guest room if you want, my sweet?” Jungkook laughed at Mrs. Kim, but it died down once he realized she was serious. Taehyung had a look of utter disbelief on his face, since he knew he would have to obey his mother if she wanted Taehyung to leave. That meant he couldn’t sleep with Jungkook, and he would be caught, since they had security cameras in the hallways and alarms that went off if you weren’t careful. That meant Taehyung would never be able to make a move, which frustrated him even more.

     “No, no. It’s much warmer with Taehyung in there. He doesn’t have to sleep in the guest room.” Jungkook found himself chuckling, since he knew Mrs. Kim would do anything for the younger to be as comfortable as possible. Mrs. Kim gave Taehyung a knowing look, which confused Jungkook. _Does she know about our relationship? Did she figure out?_ Mrs. Kim hadn’t figured out about their relationship, but she knew in the back of her mind how in love Taehyung was with the younger boy. Taehyung hadn’t told her, she guessed, and that was when Taehyung came out to his mother. She obviously hadn’t had a problem with Taehyung being gay, but she had a problem with Taehyung not having made any sort of progress towards their relationship. Taehyung had yet to tell his mother, but he wanted to make sure it was okay with Jungkook before he did.

     “That’s good, darling. Now, the maid should bring in your breakfast any second now. She’s added special touches. I’ve made your favorite, Jeonggukie! Today will be a good day. We can go shopping and out to lunch and to a nice dinner and anything that you’d like!” Mrs. Kim was so happy to have Jungkook there, for she had a new person to spoil. Jungkook thought that she got lonely with Mr. Kim going away on such frequent business trips, she must get worried too. Jungkook knows he would get worried if Taehyung was also on trips to some faraway place. Who knows what person he’d meet and then fall in love with some girl he found on an extravagant trip. Was it possible to fall out of love? Not wanting to know the answer, Jungkook thought up a response to Mrs. Kim.

     “You really don’t need to spoil me, Mrs. I’m okay with simple things, I don’t want you to waste your money.” Speaking the truth, he felt two pairs of eyes land on him in complete wonder. The mother and son didn’t know why nobody had ever felt the need to spoil this precious boy. At that thought, Taehyung got up from his seat in the family room, and walked over to where Jungkook was seated on the countertop. The older boy wrapped his arms around Jungkook, and breathed in and out slowly, taking control over his breath. He wanted to rip the fluffy material that shrouded Jungkook from the chill and show him just how much he loved the younger boy. Every kiss he would place would be part of a sentence, and he would let the younger boy know how in love he was. Because Taehyung truly was in love. He didn’t just love Jungkook, he was in love with Jungkook. All Taehyung wanted to do was smother the younger boy and have him writhe in pleasure. It was all the older boy dreamed about, to be able to have Jungkook know how much he was cared for, and to have him experience more pleasure than he’s ever experienced.

     Taehyung knew how shy Jungkook was, even when it came to pleasuring himself alone, he barely did it because he was afraid of either getting caught or he was too shy. Jungkook was very bashful when it came down to things that got sexual or if he had to expose himself. It had obviously been a very hard thing for Jungkook to come out to Taehyung, and the older boy can’t imagine what it’s going to be like telling someone else, if he does at all. As a result of the younger boy’s wanting to talk about his feelings, or lack thereof, it made Taehyung really nervous. What if he never wanted to tell anyone?

     “Jeon Jeongguk, you most definitely deserve to be spoiled. After all you’ve been through, I want you to be rewarded for how strong you’ve showed me you can be. It makes me happy when you’re happy, so I’m going to do that however I can. Maybe that takes spoiling you, but I want to make you happy.” Taehyung leaned closer to the younger’s ear and whispered, “I want to physically show you that, princess.” The growl that ripped from Taehyung’s throat made Jungkook moan, at which Taehyung bit the younger boy’s ear lobe. Earning a strange look from Mrs. Kim, Jungkook cleared his throat and coughed in an attempt to make it seem like the moan he just shamefully emit _wasn't_ what she thought it was.

     “Let me go check on the food, okay boys? I’ll bring it out when I’m back.” Taehyung’s mother walked off with a smile, and once she disappeared Taehyung spun the younger boy around. He went in with an anxious kiss, soon relaxing and teasing at the corners of Jungkook’s mouth with his tongue. Letting out yet another muffled moan, Jungkook kissed back eagerly. They had just shared a kiss earlier, but Jungkook was hungry, and he knew he always would be. _Never will I not love you,_ Jungkook silently promised himself. He didn’t have to promise himself, since he knew no matter what Taehyung did, the younger boy would always be in love. The kiss was passionate, and loving as always. Jungkook tried to stifle a giggle at how greedy Taehyung was at attacking his lips, but he was shut up at a tongue entering his mouth. Shivering, Jungkook felt his knees go weak at how good it felt with Taehyung working around his mouth with his tongue.

     In an attempt to stabilize himself, he grasped onto Taehyung’s biceps. The younger boy felt his knees wobble, at which Taehyung noticed the younger’s struggle. The elder picked Jungkook up so that he was straddling Taehyung’s hips in the air. Jungkook wanted to be impossibly closer to his hyung, but he knew they wouldn’t be able to keep their intimacy for too long, since Taehyung’s mother was bound to walk in any second now. He told himself to enjoy it while it lasted, and Taehyung and him would be sleeping in the same bed, anyway.

     “I love you, Jeon Jeongguk. I love everything you are. I’m in love with the fact that I love you.” Taehyung placed kisses all over the younger’s chest after he pulled away from the passionate kiss, and shuddering, Jungkook let out a high pitched sound from the back of his throat. He didn’t want the moment to end, but a particular mother began announcing her entry into the kitchen. _At least there’s food._ Jungkook wanted Taehyung instead.

     “Okay boys! Breakfast is ready!” Mrs. Kim barged into the kitchen with a few maids tailing behind her, but the awkward part was, Jungkook still had himself draped over Taehyung, and his face remained flushed. Taehyung basically dropped the younger boy, catching him at the last minute to make sure he landed on his feet. The elder’s hand rested itself on Jungkook’s shoulder, to try and encourage the assumption that the pair had just been messing around. Wrestling, if you will.

     “It smells delicious, thank you Unnie.” Jungkook always felt that he needed to be formal around Mrs. Kim, since she had given him so much. Never wanting to disappoint her, Jungkook never failed to make sure his Unnie knew how much he cared for her. She had been his real mother, more than the one who gave birth to him. As unbelievable as it sounded, Jungkook and his closeness with Mrs. Kim didn’t fail to bring out the respect in Jungkook. Taehyung found it amusing, since he never treated any of his other hyung’s with that much respect. Jungkook didn’t exactly have a bunch of friends that were girls. He seemed afraid of them almost. Taehyung had noticed this shortly after they’d met, but it had definitely gotten worse as the years passed.

     “So, Eomma, I do get breakfast?” Taehyung pondered out loud, wondering if she actually meant business. Mrs. Kim was a serious witch to Taehyung, but a kind angel to Jungkook. Taehyung’s dongsaeng took notice upon this maybe a couple years or so into their best friend relationship. He suspected Mrs. Kim had wanted Jungkook to stick around, so she didn’t show her Taehyung side until later on. It was necessarily being two-faced, just wanting the best for someone who hadn’t really gotten any love before. Since she treated Jungkook and Taehyung differently some of the time, Jungkook began to make the connection from Taehyung and his mother. Taehyung was always nice, got playfully angry but not usually getting fuming angry around Jungkook. Mrs. Kim was always kind and put her best self forward for Jungkook, who wouldn’t see the connection between the mother and son.

     “You can have some, but let Jungkook pick first.” The maids clad in blouses and chimas walked farther into the kitchen, and dropped off two platters at the island the pair was sitting at. Smiling his shy bunny smile, Jungkook inadvertently made the maid blush. She bowed down to him in a ninety degree angle, even though he was probably her dongsaeng. Jungkook was usually taken for younger than he was, so did he always make girls blush? It didn’t bring Jungkook any satisfaction, knowing that he could probably get a number of girls to date in less than a few days. Jungkook wasn’t exactly sure yet, if he was gay or bisexual. Sure, he had an attraction towards girls but he had a stronger one towards guys. So, bisexual?

     “Thanks, eom-”

     “Don’t forget to eat well, boys. Were going on a shopping spree, and Jungkook, you can get whatever you’d like honey. Don’t worry about your mom or dad finding them, you could even keep them here and have Taehyung pick you up early and change. I have got to convince your parents to let you move in with us! It’d be so lovely! We could have family game nights, or even watch movies together. Oh! We could have a sleepover in the living room! I could have a whole wing built just for family time!” As the boys ate their breakfast, Jungkook secretly feeding Taehyung with his own fork when Mrs. Kim wasn’t looking, they only half listened. They kind of enjoyed the background chatter, anyway.

     Cutting a triangle out of one of the many pancakes that were on his plate, Jungkook stabbed a strawberry and combined the two foods, leading it over to Taehyung’s mouth so he could eat. Picking up on Mrs. Kim asking him a question, he panicked. _She was probably saying about how something was going to be lovely? She doesn’t talk about bad things when I’m around._ Taking his best guess, he went with a seemingly safe answer.

     “Yes, actually.” Speaking quietly, Jungkook was looking down with his face burning neon pink, awaiting embarrassment. Turns out, Jungkook was right. He could not describe how much he thanked his brain for being so intelligent. It saved him a lifetime of discomfort.

     “Oh, that’s perfect! Which stores?” Of course she was talking about which places to take Jungkook. She really wanted the sixteen year old as her own child, but it’s not like Jungkook’s father would ever let that happen. Jungkook’s mother wasn’t home most if not all the time, but she would in no way allow anything to happen to ‘her Jeonggukie’. Yeah, right. Like she ever did anything for him. As Jungkook brought his mind back to the situation at hand, he gave Taehyung his look. Their "look" was when they were in some sort of trouble or distress and needed help in that situation. The undiscussed rule that both of them were aware of was that you had to help that person, no matter the situation. In this situation, Jungkook didn’t know what the fuck the big shopping districts had. Mrs. Kim would probably want to take him to some of the most expensive, so he’d let Taehyung answer for him this time.

     “We were talking about ordering online or traveling somewhere, because we want some stuff from Gucci. We want to visit Gangnam district and the Namdaemun market and Dongdaemun.” Those were all in Seoul, but that many places in one day? As the mother and son chatted about which places would be more convenient to travel to, Jungkook began making combinations with the various fruits and pastries, trying to figure out what Taehyung would like most. There were many American based pastries and things. Jungkook decided to try bacon with syrup and pineapple, which made his tastebuds pleasantly explode with flavor. He remade the combination and took the chance while his Unnie was still speaking to bring his fork over to Taehyung’s mouth. He didn’t even give the food a glance, but accepted it immediately, opening his mouth. Chewing, Taehyung looked over at Jungkook with wide eyes, surprised at the flavors that engulfed his tongue. He gave Jungkook a look and noise of approval and ruffled the younger boy’s hair. Although the gesture was small, it made Jungkook all bubbly and soft inside. Jungkook was so hopelessly in love with his hyung, it was ridiculous.

     “When you boys are finished go shower and change, we should get going soon. It’ll be a long enough drive.” Driving in a car wouldn’t take as long as she was exaggerating, fifteen minutes at the least. Jungkook fed the last of his pancakes and bacon to Taehyung, he himself munching on the strawberries, apples, and clementines that were displayed neatly on plates. They ate most of the food, but tried to save some for Mrs. Kim, since she definitely looked hungry. Mr. Kim was supposed to return from one of his business trips, too. Figuring they couldn’t possibly eat all of the food that had been laid out, they placed their plates in the sink and lazily walked up the steps. With his shirt still off, Taehyung led Jungkook to the upstairs television room that was connected to the upstairs kitchen. Jungkook expressed his confusion by making a sound that was obviously discombobulated. Taehyung looked over and smirked, happy that Jungkook was surprised by the sudden gesture.

     Taehyung always tried to spoil the younger boy, even though he didn’t let it happen often. Jungkook didn’t let it happen often because he always felt bad when people spoiled him. He himself knew he was bound to have it grow on him eventually, but he tried to stop it nevertheless. The trusting person that Jungkook was, he sat down and waited for Taehyung’s surprise. At least he suspected it was a surprise.

     “What do you have in mind, oppa?” Calling Taehyung something other than hyung was different for Jungkook, but Taehyung definitely seemed to like it. Wanting his hyung to know how much Jungkook loved him, he began calling him Oppa, because who wanted their lover to be bored with them? Like Taehyung would ever be bored with Jeon Jungkook. Please.

     “It’s a surprise, baby. Let me go grab it.” Shooting Jungkook with those beautiful eyes, Taehyung walked all the way into a different wing to reach his parent’s room, presumably the safe. Knowing Taehyung, he probably wouldn’t have gotten Jungkook a piece of clothing, since Jungkook was picky with his clothes. Taehyung always brought Jungkook with when he was buying the younger boy clothes, just to make sure. It left Jungkook wondering, what would Taehyung have gotten him this time?

     As he mulled over several possible situations, he felt himself start to worry. Not knowing exactly why, he attempted to take a few deep breaths, play with the bracelet that wrapped around his wrist. Thinking it was just some normal panic attack, Jungkook was able to calm himself down in the little time that he was left alone. Upon Taehyung’s return, Jungkook finally snapped completely out of the small anxiety that still consumed him in that moment. Of course, Taehyung took notice of the little worry that still lingered with him, and sat next to Jungkook to kiss his jawline. Taehyung almost never failed to calm Jungkook down, and it made the younger boy love him even more.

     What Jungkook failed to notice was the box that rested mysteriously in Taehyung’s hands. It was wrapped in gold velvet and a blue ribbon tied elegantly around the box. Leaning his head against Taehyung, Jungkook realized the box later than he should have, and let out a little gasp. It looked to be a ring box, and his stomach suddenly rolled violently all the way up to his ribcage. _There is no way in hell he is going to propose. Even though that’s something he’d do. There’s no way._ Whipping his head up, Jungkook looked at Taehyung, who was looking back at him with a gleam of love. Jungkook felt his pulse pick back up, and his heart rate beating faster. Maybe it was just some practical joke, it probably wasn’t even a ring.

     Busy trying to convince himself that the things he was thinking in his mind were true, Jungkook didn’t even notice Taehyung begin to move. But he was, he was getting up off of the couch, to stand in front of Jungkook. Shrieking could be heard all around the corners of Jungkook’s mind, his own shrieking. Jungkook couldn’t get married at the age of sixteen, neither could Taehyung when he was only eighteen! In the end, Taehyung decided right then and there, to get down on one knee.

     “First off, let me start with saying this is not a proposal. Now, I just wanted to do something special for you, love.” Jungkook sighed with relief, making sure not to indicate he was nervous about the encounter in the least. It’s not like he didn’t want to marry Taehyung, it had been one of his fantasies since he was a kid, in fact. The younger boy was just afraid of the things that other people would say. Getting married at sixteen? With a guy, especially? It wasn’t necessarily weird, being with another guy, to the two boys that were in love with each other. Both of them supported the LGBTQ community, since they were apart of it. A lot of people did not, and that was one of the only downsides in their relationship.

     “I just wanted to give you something special, a promise. I want you to promise that no matter what happens, you’ll always be there for me. We’ll always be there for each other. I’ll be in love with you forever, because you’re just too fucking amazing. Can you promise me, Jungkook?” It didn’t take long for Jungkook to realize that Taehyung had become a big giant cheeseball as of late. Why, you may ask? Because they were going to be a cute ass couple, that’s why. Jungkook enjoyed it, and he was never left with a predictable state of mind by how sweet Taehyung was being, even now. They were normally touchy best friends, that were all over each other all the time, but the intimacy was upped by a whole notch. Being surprised by this, Jungkook let out a small gasp yet again, with a beautifully adoring look on his face.

     “Of course, Oppa. No matter what you do, I’ll always be in love with you. Now be a gentleman and put this ring on my finger.” Jungkook made a slight pouty face and stuck his left hand out, wanting it to be on his ring finger anyway. Chuckling, Taehyung removed the bow and opened the small, golden box. Carefully slipping the ring out of it’s placement, he took Jungkook’s hand and placed it where an engagement ring would go. The older boy placed a lingering kiss on the hand the ring was laid upon, and after that Jungkook immediately took his hand back to admire the silver band. It was beautiful, exquisite. It looked proper and ornate, hugging his finger just right. The decorations were so intricate, there was a rough tanzanite in a dip. It cut off like a plateau, and it was absolutely mesmerizing to Jungkook. The jewel wasn’t perfect, but that’s why Jungkook loved it. The colors matched nicely, and that’s when Jungkook realized Taehyung had a matching ring with a rough sapphire just like the one he’d just gifted to the younger boy. Jungkook wanted to cry, but he forced himself not to. He’d cried way too much to let out any more tears.

     “This is beautiful, Oppa. Thank you, thank you so much.” Jungkook was attempting not to ‘fangirl’ but Taehyung was just too much sometimes. Flashing a wide and bright bunny smile, the younger boy cupped Taehyung’s cheeks with both of his hands and placed a loving kiss on awaiting lips. Both boys were eager for something more, but they both knew the younger of the two wasn’t exactly prepared. It’s not that Jungkook wasn’t interested in having sex with his boyfriend, who wouldn’t want to when your boyfriend was Kim Taehyung? It was that Jungkook was scared, mostly of Taehyung being completely unimpressed with his lack of experience. The younger of the two barely pleasured himself, so how was he expected to last during actual sex? Especially with the hottest guy in all of South Korea. Jungkook definitely thought so. What if Taehyung laughed at Jungkook? What if Taehyung broke up with him, and found someone more experienced who’d be able to pleasure him more? What if Taehyung cheated on him, because the younger boy simply couldn’t provide enough? Some older girl would give Taehyung exactly what he himself wanted. All Jungkook was left to wonder was, why exactly doesn’t Taehyung take any better option?

    _Because he’ll never truly love you as much as you love him. You’re a worthless slut who barely likes Taehyung for who he is. Just give up already._ The voice inside Jungkook’s head made him shiver, and he hugged Taehyung just a little tighter, hoping and trying his best to hang onto the string of hope that led him to believe the voice inside his head was only there for show. The voice was only there to scare Jungkook, that’s what the younger boy tried his absolute hardest to believe. In the back of his mind, he knew he himself had created the monstrous thing.

     “Of course, baby. You know I’d do anything for you.” Husky, Taehyung’s voice made Jungkook want to shake. Taehyung’s voice was so silky and delicate, Jungkook didn’t know exactly how to feel about it. Maybe Taehyung had done some sort of voice training and landed himself stuck with this beautiful voice of is. His voice had always been perfect to Jungkook, and never failed to leave him jealous with how smooth it sounded. Of course, Taehyung had no knowledge of what Jungkook thought of his voice, but it wouldn’t be long before he did.

     “How about we go shower now, hm?” Smirking, Taehyung conjured up a rather perverted response. No wonder everyone had this innate attraction to Kim Taehyung.

     “Together? I like that idea.” Of course, Taehyung was mostly joking to others when he said perverted things, but something about this conversation was different. The gleam that resided in Taehyung’s eyes made Jungkook feel different about the situation, so he decided to play it off differently than he was currently thinking.

     “I have a naughty Oppa, don’t I? Well, only if you can catch me first.” At that, Jungkook ran away, squealing excitedly like a little girl at the thrill of being chased. This had started to become something they did often, chasing each other like the five year olds at heart that they really were. Racing to Taehyung’s bedroom, Jungkook tried to shut the door behind him but Taehyung grabbed hold of his hips. Squealing again, Jungkook was giggling maniacally, and shortly thereafter he was thrown on the bed. Taehyung placed kisses everywhere, except his lips and, you know, where it counted. He did get dangerously close to his v-line, though. Taehyung placed kisses along the line where the sweatpants he was borrowing from Taehyung to where his own skin met the fabric. Shoving the older boy off, Jungkook shuffled up to the front of the bed, attempting to hide and shield himself from the oncoming wave of kisses he was yet to receive.

     “You can’t escape my love, Jungkook-ah.” The older boy’s voice dropped like three octaves, and Jungkook wanted to throw off the covers that were on his head and snuggle the fuck out of his boyfriend. Which he did. He wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s broad chest and gave it a shy peck. Taehyung “awh”’d and slung his arms around the younger boy, making it the slightest bit difficult for Jungkook to breathe, but he didn’t mind. Although Taehyung wanted to fuck the living daylights out of Jungkook, he still thought he was extremely adorable.

     “We don’t even have to shower, let’s just dress and then we can cuddle until it’s time to go.” Taehyung tried his best to coax the younger boy into not showering, which wasn’t very hard. Considering that the pair weren’t all that dirty, there was no harm in leaving the showering for later. Taehyung picked out his comfiest clothes while still managing to look put together, while Jungkook carefully selected a pastel collared shirt that Taehyung had gotten handmade for him, a white shirt underneath and jeans that hugged all the right curves. Not to mention the grey velvet choker and round glasses that rested on his nose. Taehyung glanced over as he walked out of the bathroom, after finishing his hair, and took a deep breath once he laid his eyes upon the sixteen year old. Taehyung thought he looked hot. Like next level hot.

     “I could just eat you up, right here my love. You’re just begging to be destroyed aren’t you?” Sauntering over to Jungkook, Taehyung rested his hands on the younger boy’s hips. The older boy placed a wet kiss on Jungkook’s rather exposed collarbone, that Taehyung was going to have to prevent others from seeing. On the other hand, Jungkook felt v-i-o-l-a-t-e-d. Sexually and mentally. Not necessarily in a bad way, he just wanted to rip his clothes off. Of course, Taehyung and Jungkook together would have to wait. The younger boy was trying as hard as he could to mentally prepare himself, but what he really thought he needed was that final push, from Taehyung and from Taehyung only.

     “Why don’t you, Oppa?” Teasing was a strength of Jungkook’s, and he intended to tantalize Taehyung as much as possible with it. Why oh why did the young boy think like this? Jungkook was bound to be ravaged by his hyung soon enough, and as the day went on the more comfortable he felt with his hyung. Maybe it was starting to happen? Maybe something in Jungkook’s mind was finally starting to click and Taehyung would get what he wanted. Although, the phrase, ‘get what he wanted’ frightened Jungkook. What if Taehyung just decided to leave him after the younger boy would agree to sex?

     “Because I want to please you as much as possible. I can’t make you feel as good as I want you to feel with such little time we have now, princess.” Jungkook’s stomach burned with arousal at the sound of his own pet name. It was almost too much to handle, and Jungkook was sure that it wouldn’t take long for himself to feel good with Taehyung there to pleasure him. With that thought, Taehyung picked the younger boy up and held him like a baby, so that his mouth was pressed up against Jungkook’s exposed collar bone. The pink button down shirt Jungkook was wearing was showing too much for Taehyung’s liking, especially since they were going out in public and people besides Taehyung were going to see his perfect porcelain skin. Taehyung really, really didn’t like that idea.

     “BOYS! IT’S TIME TO GO! OUR CHAUFFEUR IS HERE.” Jungkook was on the verge of telling Taehyung his newfound feelings, but Mrs. Kim interrupted their conversation. Setting Jungkook down, Taehyung ruffled the younger boy’s hair and placed a final kiss upon his forehead before leading Jungkook downstairs by the hand. The hand that held Jungkook’s was delicate, and gentle in a way that Taehyung didn’t normally act. It was probably because Taehyung just wanted to make Jungkook feel as comfortable as possible, since the older boy knew how foreign it felt for the latter to be spoiled. Jungkook toyed with the ring that wrapped around his own finger, and once again fell in love with it’s beauty. Taehyung was also falling in love with a certain beauty, but that beauty happened to be Jungkook.

     As Taehyung’s feet came to rest upon the marble floors that Jungkook had fallen sixty too many times on, the older boy grabbed the younger by his hips and carried him the rest of the way. Childish giggles spilled out of Jungkook’s mouth, and it brought a genuine smile to Taehyung’s face. A sudden charming look came across Taehyung’s face, and he took one hand to grip Jungkook’s hip, and the other to hold his hand. Taking the message, Jungkook placed his hand in Taehyung’s, and let the other stretch up to the nape of the older boy’s neck. After they assumed their position, Taehyung led him in a dance. A simple waltz that Taehyung had taught Jungkook at a young age because that had been the sole reason the older boy went to lessons, to teach the latter. They both loved dancing with each other, and now it was all the more romantic.

     “Are we taking the Bentley or a limousine today, mom?” Curious, Taehyung asked this question as he peppered Jungkook’s face with kisses. _What a douchebag._

     “You sure sound like a douchebag.” Jungkook commented half heartedly, earning him a slap on his rear. The younger of the two yelped, and slapped Jungkook once again on his rear end. Taehyung picked Jungkook up bridal style, and walked over to the front of the house where his mom was waiting. Mrs. Kim seemed to have lost her cool for a second, and gushed over how adorable the two boys were.

     “Awhh, you two are so cute! You would make a perfect couple!” At that, Jungkook froze. He wasn’t embarrassed, no of course not, but what if Taehyung was? Turns out, apparently he wasn’t. A chaste kiss was placed on his nose, and words that made Jungkook want to shrivel up into the skinny 5’7 of a man he was.

     “We do, don’t we?” A gasp, a swoon, and a red face were followed by that statement. Mrs. Kim gasped and swooned, her and Jungkook both had red faces.

     “So you guys are together? How adorable!” Mrs. Kim spent a few more moments gushing at the cute couple before Taehyung set Jungkook down. In shock, Jungkook refused to let go of Taehyung’s shirt, but Taehyung just rested his chin atop Jungkook’s head and whispered,

     “It’ll be okay.”

     “Mrs. Kim, you’re okay with it?” Jungkook honestly didn’t believe it. How was she okay with it? The pair had been friends since kindergarden, and hadn’t shown anything but platonic interest in each other until the last month in front of the mother. It didn’t make her the least bit uncomfortable. The sixteen year old found it hard to believe that his “mother” supported their relationship fully. Although Mrs. Kim was an accepting woman and gives most if not all things an opportunity, a lot of mothers would find it fairly strange that their son and his best friend are in love. _Did she even think that, or did she just think Taehyung was joking?_ What if she only reacted like this because she thought the boys were kidding around and she really wasn’t okay with this? Taehyung used to “kiss it better” when Jungkook got hurt because the younger said that’s the only way he’d get better. Like if Jungkook fell on that slippery marble, Taehyung would have to kiss Jungkook wherever he had gotten hurt, so it was moderately common.

     “Of course, as long as Taehyung doesn’t do things you don’t want him to! He’s always been a rather rowdy kid.” Clenched teeth accompanied her statement, and this was the moment where she began to seem visibly uncomfortable, and Jungkook felt the obligation not to ask why she had said this. Had Taehyung done something that he really, really wasn’t supposed to do? Not that he didn’t make bad decisions every day, but what could be so horrible? Besides, didn’t Mrs. Kim place all of his trust in Jungkook? Wouldn’t she have been a bit more opposed to this, considering how much she joked with the two about how much she didn’t trust Taehyung? Too much, too much, too much for Jungkook right now. He gave Taehyung their look, but a honk from the driveway summoned them instead.

     “Eomma, why don’t you lead Jungkookie and I?” Taehyung flashed a cheesy smile that he meant, because he couldn't help but show his happiness. His mother really did approve of their relationship, and it made both of them extremely happy, even if Jungkook didn't know it yet. Once they reached the car parked in the circular driveway, Mrs. Kim sat in the front and the boys in the back. Jungkook recognized the slidey thingy that you could use to separate the driver and passengers seats from the back seats in this particular car, and then he recognized Taehyung's hand shutting it.

     "Jungkook, don't you think it's time we start participating in some adult games?" The push! This was the push that Jungkook was waiting for, yet the one Taehyung didn't know his princess needed. Maybe if Jungkook would have told his hyung, it would have happened earlier. But was Jungkook really ready earlier? Hell Jungkook didn't even know if he was ready now, even with the slight push that Taehyung just gave him. It felt like the older boy was always so hellbent on making sure Jungkook was always comfortable, taking no risks whatsoever. That's why Taehyung telling his mother about they're relationship gave Jungkook hope, and didn't shock him as much as it should have. There was a whole entire language barrier between the two, and Jungkook might be the only one who knows it yet. The only similarity in that area was how they both knew something was missing, except Taehyung thought that there was a lack of trust somewhere. But they were both wrong, yet they really have no idea on that.

     "What kind of games, hyung?" Jungkook put on a pouty face, and thumped his fists on Taehyung's chest. Their relationship was so cute, but Jungkook wanted it to be more. There was no way he was going to let his hyung get bored of him, because he just loved him too much. Too much so that it suffocated Jungkook to the point where he wanted his hyung to feel the suffocation of undying love. Love that felt nothing more than utter appreciation for one another and Jungkook just didn't know if Taehyung could ever feel that way towards him. Even if he did, Kim Taehyung was a tough man to please, he had said so himself. Being an easy man to impress himself, it was a rough situation since what Jungkook would find amazing and impressing, Taehyung most likely wouldn't. Say he did, but that was such a shot in the dark.

     "You know, I'd like it better if you'd call me... daddy?"  By this time, Taehyung was looming over Jungkook in the roomy backseat of the car Jungkook had forgotten to check the brand of. The younger boy let out a whimper, one that was waiting for whatever was going to happen next. Jungkook knew that was something moderately common for couples, but did it make Taehyung feel like princess made Jungkook feel? To Taehyung, it was so much more. It meant that Jungkook has a sense of loyalty towards Taehyung, and that's all Taehyung wanted. He wanted to stay with the younger boy for the rest of his life, but was Jungkook really ready for what the older boy wanted? Not only was it sexual, but mentally and physically too. Even if Jungkook was so extremely comfortable with sleeping with Taehyung, there was no way that the younger boy was ready for all of the things that the older boy would want to do.

     "Daddy? I've never said anything like that before." Jungkook felt that same burning arousal awaken at the bottom of his stomach, and embarrassment begin to surface. Although, the older of the two seemed to have zero shame in his eyes, nor his body language. The struggle that Taehyung used to face with his confidence was no longer existent. Those years of learning to cope with himself and his thoughts really payed off, along with help from Jungkook. The dongsaeng still struggles with body image, self esteem, and confidence so he was a great help to Taehyung back then. The ones who battle the most are the ones that keep others going, because they don't want anyone else to go through what they're going through.

     "It'll be our little secret, just between us if you're comfortable with that, okay princess?" The saying "getting used to something" didn't pop up into Jungkook's mind. He could get used to calling his hyung daddy, but when would he get used to being called princess? It had a large meaning, since in the first grade around some of the first times Jungkook came over to the Kim residence, he fell and hurt his hip pretty badly. So bad he could barely walk. The young boy was in tears, even though he tried to never cry around his hyung. It became too much for the five and a half year old, so Taehyung just decided to carry him like a "princess". He then proceeded to tell the younger boy, "It's okay Kookie! When we get married I'll always carry you around like a princess so you never get hurt!" 

     Of course, Jungkook cried even more and hid his face in the eight year old's expensive jacket. Taehyung really, really wanted to make that statement a reality ever since he said that, because the younger boy was always getting hurt. Even as they got older, Taehyung still didn't know about Jungkook's problem, but would always see him in the halls with various bruises and mysterious, straight scars aligned along with his veins. No doubt how clueless the older boy was, he would always stop the broken boy and ask what was wrong, question the sad face, and gaze into dark eyes that hadn't slept in forever. Later on, when Taehyung discovered what the issue was, he vehemently apologized for being so ignorant. Those apologies were never left without an "It's fine, hyung."

     "O-okay, daddy. How long will it be until we're there?" Testing out the new name would be fun, since he could almost feel the way it made Taehyung fill with a sense of ownership. Ownership over Jungkook felt nice, to have the sexiest cutest boy at his side, was just an amazing feeling in itself. Ever since Taehyung became friends with the latter, every girl was swooning at his side, every guy inviting him over to hang out. Taehyung was surprised that after a while he began to realize that Jungkook didn't even need his hyung. He would be able to do fine by himself. Jungkook on the other hand, would never have been as social as he was or is now if not for Taehyung. Maybe even make friends on his own, but neither of them wanted to look back on those dark times in their lives.

     "Not long, princess. Here, I'll ask the driver." Taehyung slid open the door mechanism, and asked how long it'd be.

     "We'e actually arrived, sir." Surprise surprise, neither of them had even glanced out the window. The car came to a stop and Taehyung unbuckled Jungkook's seat belt for him. He then proceeded to open his car window and walk around the car to open it for his boyfriend, but the driver beat him to it. He was a rather young man that Taehyung had known since middle school. If the older could recall correctly, the man was twenty four. Not to mention the suggestive smile he had shown towards Jungkook, but his eyes read something even worse.

     "Right this way, Mr. Jeon. Mr. Kim if I could have you open the door for your mother, I'll tidy up your little friend for you." Jungkook found himself thrown against the driver, his face against the chest of a man who was much taller than him. Everyone seemed to be taller than Jungkook. As he breathed in for a moment he realized he had a familiar scent to Yoongi. The scent of someone who really didn't mess around. Maybe that was just the cologne.

     "Yeah I'm pretty sure I can handle Jungkook,  _Minjae._ I'll leave you with that car door." Taehyung spat out the older boy's name like it left a sour taste in his mouth, and reached his hand out to Jungkook. Of course, the youngest of the trio took it and was yanked out of the grasp of this Minjae. Yelping at the sudden contact, he gripped Taehyung's jacket upon impact, and his hair was being slightly maneuvered, and his clothes adjusted by his own boyfriend. The glasses being pushed up the slightest bit on his nose. Instead of adjusting the choker that wrapped itself around Jungkook's porcelain neck, Taehyung tugged at it, and moved the light pink button down shirt so anyone else wouldn't be able to see the beautiful milky skin. Along with his coat it was pretty hard to see the collarbones and skin that Jungkook was showing.

     "Mrs. Kim, may I accompany you on your trip, to make sure Jungkook is safe? And you know how amazing my fashion sense is? It would be my pleasure Mrs. Kim." Jungkook realized right then that Minjae was talking Mrs. Kim up, but why? Was he trying to get something out of this? There's nothing that he could wish more of, since if he was working for the Kim's he obviously received enough pay to have a very nice living. Maybe he was trying to spend more time with Taehyung, or maybe even Jungkook, but the youngest had no idea as to why the older boy was trying to get so close to the trio. And why did he only mention protecting the youngest?

     "Jungkook already has Taehyung to protect him, and they're dating after all. Minjae if I were you I wouldn't intrude on what's Taehyung's. But you're welcome to accompany us!" The eyes on Mrs. Kim's face grew dark, which Jungkook also found strange. Why did everyone have their mind set on keeping Taehyung and Jungkook so close? Jungkook was pulled out of his thoughts, literally, by Minjae. The older boy yanked his arm, pulling him away from the arms that we're about to wrap themselves around the youngest. Then, the arms took it upon themselves to wrap around Jungkook's torso instead of the other pair of arms.

     "Boyfriend, hm? I guess I'll accompany you anyway, my bunny." A growl rumbled deep from within Taehyung's throat, and he tore Jungkook out of that  _snake's_ grip. Taehyung just couldn't fathom how this dumb boy who had just met Jungkook couldn't keep his dick in his pants! It's not like Taehyung could either, but at least Taehyung didn't do this in public! Especially since Minjae had  _just_ found out that the two were dating? What was with this guy? 

     "Yeah,  _my_ boyfriend and  _my_ bunny. Back the fuck off." Jungkook had turned out to be completely right, Taehyung was a way overprotective boyfriend. It's like Jungkook could barely get enough of it, although he knew how angry it made Taehyung. All the while this was happening, Mrs. Kim seemed to be enjoying this whole debacle. The smirk that shown on her face towards the obviously jealous Taehyung almost made Jungkook laugh, but he didn't. Instead, he turned around to face his boyfriend and gently pulled him down by the long scarf that hung from his neck. The tie looked so complicated it almost reminded Jungkook of a noose. What a morbid thought, huh?

     "Daddy, what's gotten into you?" Jungkook grew more and more suspicious of whatever was going to come next, even though he really kind of knew that his hyung was just jealous. Taehyung leaned down the slightest bit more and started attacking Jungkook's lips like he had complete control over them. Which he did, and Jungkook certainly didn't have a problem with it. You could basically hear the excitement of Mrs. Kim and the eye roll that came from Minjae.

     "Don't worry about it. I love you, princess." And he really did. But what if Minajae did, too? Maybe that's what would make Jungkook fall out of love? At least, that's what Taehyung thought. And when he got jealous, he got really  _really_ jealous.


	8. First Stores and First Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung has always been known to be jealous, but there's a certain person who sets him off in a way that surprises even Jungkook. Taehyung makes it an option to claim what's his once and for all, and who's Jungkook to disagree?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO HELLO THERE haven't seen you in quite some time. I know that I suck even worse now at posting on time now that school is over BUT I had an idea that could probably keep me on track. I've decided to manage one of my younger friends' Instagram accounts so that she could remind me to write and I'll be able to focus on keeping her on track so hopefully I'll stay on track. say you have a question on something I'm writing or even a suggestion, instead of commenting and waiting for me to open my computer we'll have a quicker way to communicate through dm's and such. 
> 
> it won't be me posting and making the edits she'll be posting, so it won't always be a response right away but even so, it's quicker and easier than having a conversation in the comments of a chapter. If you're interested in edits and aesthetic of bangtan and more, (she takes requests) you can follow her for her content or if you need to talk or maybe you have ideas for what I'm writing or what I should write you can dm her and she'll get back to me or by chance I'll just be browsing stuff while I'm on that account. the account is @sadcollisionismm and with the issues going on about instagram taking down fan accounts, it might be a while before she uploads since she just started over with her (Levi's) account. we would both appreciate it if you could check her content out but if not that's cool too :) 
> 
> I will stay on track and keep writing and hopefully make other fanfics in the future, but anywho... 
> 
>  
> 
> THIS IS THE CHAPTER OF EVERYTHING Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

      They entered the first clothing store, Taehyung’s hands all over Jungkook. Minjae and Taehyung had been arguing over stupid stuff the whole time, some of them not even verbally. Apparently, Minjae had been walking slightly too close to Jungkook, at which Taehyung just brought Jungkook to the other side of him. As much as Jungkook tried to have an intellectual conversation with Mrs. Kim on the latest styles, trends, and even decorations, the two older boys would just not allow it. There was one time where he had been accidentally shoved into a window somehow, so he just decided to walk next to Mrs. Kim.

     “Ooh, Mrs. Kim look at that scarf. It would match nicely with your purse.” Jungkook was fantastic at picking out color schemes, and Mrs. Kim definitely agreed with that talent of his. She would usually take his opinion when she went shopping since they had each other’s numbers. Taehyung thought it was extra strange, but he paid no attention to it after a while. 

     “Jungkook you have a great eye, why don’t we stop in here.” Jungkook nodded, happy to help with whatever creations Mrs. Kim was looking to make. She looked for about ten minutes, asking for Jungkook’s insight before handing it over to Minjae to carry. Minjae was surprised at first, but it was very obvious that he was hiding his annoyance to come off as calm to the maknae. 

     “Eomma, I thought we were shopping for Kookie?” Taehyung’s voice came off as annoyed, too. Jungkook could tell by his tone of voice that he wasn’t very happy with the current situation. Jungkook walked over and stood on his tippy-toes to give Taehyung a kiss on the jaw when nobody was looking. Taehyung smiled down at him and cupped the perfectly shaped face in his long, slender hands. Jungkook had always obsessed over Taehyung’s hands, and he’d always had perverted images across his mind of how nice they would feel elsewhere, caressing certain parts of his body.

     “We are, so why don’t you two boys go look anywhere else, but Minjae, hold onto those clothes.” Minjae nodded and walked off with a reluctant Taehyung, who was shooting Jungkook some intense bedroom eyes. Mrs. Kim put her hand on Jungkook’s shoulder once they were out of sight, and said something that barely surprised Jungkook, knowing Mrs. Kim.  “So, I’ve noticed that your style is slightly more feminine, and now that you’re in a relationship with Taehyung, I just wanted to know that it’s okay if you want to shop in the women’s section. If you’re embarrassed with the guys around, or even anyone else around, you can mention it and I’ll say that I’m buying it. If not, that’s fine too.” Jungkook had noticed over the years that Taehyung had begun to pursue girls with a more feminine style, so he really loved Mrs. Kim for giving him this suggestion.

     “That actually makes this trip a lot easier. Thanks, eomma.” That word,  _ eomma _ . It accidentally slipped out, but it felt nice to say that word every once in awhile. He hadn’t said that word to his actual mother in, what, two years? His mother never really came around but left a letter in the mail every five months or so. He had managed to write back once, using the word ‘eomma’ once. Taehyung’s real mother hadn’t thought it was weird in the least. In fact, it was almost as if she welcomed it. She used her right hand to cup Jungkook’s cheek, an admiring smile on her face. Something his mother never did over the age of seven.

     “Of course, Jeongguk.” While the guys were gone, Jungkook picked out several more shirts from the women’s section that he absolutely loved. They weren’t extremely feminine, but they did have a slight touch to them that whispered, “I’m a lady”. That’s exactly what Jungkook wanted, just a slight whisper that was barely apparent. He did have soft sweaters that had butterflies and color splashes on them, but those were according to season most of the time, and since he was so widely recognized nobody batted an eye. 

     Mrs. Kim did end up buying the scarf that Jungkook had seen through the window, and they scoured again to find Minjae and Taehyung. They found Taehyung, shifting through carefully crafted ties. He looked towards the approaching pair, visibly perking up at the sight of Jungkook, and no Minjae around to interrupt them. Taehyung walked over to Jungkook, wrapping him in a hug, silently apologizing for the dumb situation they’d found themselves in. 

     “Hyung, I think this color would look nice on you.” Jungkook pointed out a dark purple tie, which would match nicely with his darker hair and contrast with his fair skin. Jungkook took the tie and held it up to Taehyung’s chest, having to elevate himself the slightest. Mrs. Kim gawked since she had done this to Mr. Kim early on in their relationship. All Mrs. Kim wanted to do was make sure that their relationship didn’t turn out like her own: unhappy and barely in contact. Well, they did keep in contact, or at least Mrs. Kim did. She called him every day, but they were left unanswered. Taehyung leaned down to whisper something in Jungkook’s ear, which Mrs. Kim didn’t manage to catch.

     “And  _ I _ think you would look better  _ without  _ any clothes on.” That’d be Taehyung for you, never failing to say something perverted about the situation. Jungkook blushed, hard, and looked down. Taehyung was about to elaborate on his statement before Mrs. Kim reminded them of the situation at hand.  

     “We have to find Minjae, and then we can continue shopping for Jungkook. Let’s go, shall we?” Taehyung noticed the abundance of clothes that Mrs. Kim was carrying, and shook his head.  _ Isn’t this trip for Jungkook? I can’t believe she’s making this about herself. Especially when it comes to Jungkook.  _ All Jungkook would do is pray that Taehyung wouldn’t recognize the clothes later on when Jungkook would wear them. Maybe he could just force his hyung out of the stores that Jungkook would pick, and he wouldn’t recognize it?

     “Why can’t we just go to the stores Jungkook wants to go to first, and then yours, eomma?” Taehyung just wasn’t having it, the fact that they couldn’t just focus on  _ Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. _ The younger boy didn’t get to do this very often, so naturally, Taehyung thought it was unfair for his mother to be shopping for herself. It surprised Taehyung, but Mrs. Kim had really only come to this store so she could let Jungkook know about the clothing situation. The mother was smart enough to cover it up by ‘shopping for herself. She didn’t want to have Jungkook get embarrassed, so she came up with a perfect idea, right off the bat. Mrs. Kim had been very proud of herself for coming up with such an innovative idea, but she just couldn’t imagine Taehyung’s reaction to this situation. Of course, he would never put Jungkook down because of it. In fact, he would probably welcome it, but the mother wasn’t going to take any chances for her precious Jungkook.

     “D-Hyung it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Jungkook gave Taehyung his bunny smile, and Taehyung just looked at him. He reached down and pulled the younger boy’s coat over his exposed skin. Laughing, Jungkook grabbed his hyung’s hand and turned on his heels, following Mrs. Kim. They walked for a bit, step by step of Mrs. Kim calling out the eldest boy’s name. The trio was walking for a while, turning out racks of clothing before deciding to split up into a duo and have Mrs. Kim check out what she had. Taehyung made the younger boy walk in front of him, and pretty soon his hands were on the sixteen-year old’s hips. 

     “Daddy, do you think glasses would look nice on me?” Jungkook questioned his hyung, using their word now that they were alone. It’s not like they would find many people they knew here, so why bother being careful? Maybe their closeness would earn some strange looks, but most likely they would be from people they would never see again. If they saw people they knew, there was only few that would care. The God Kim Taehyung was barely ever judged by anyone.

     “I think glasses would look amazing on you, why do you ask?” Jungkook shrugged, stopping to feel the soft material of a winter jacket. Taehyung stopped along with him, hands still on the other’s hips. The older of the two connected their bodies, putting his head down on Jungkook’s. That just left Jungkook giggling, pushing back against his hyung. He was pretty much hiding in the older boy’s cashmere trench coat, relishing in his warmth. Jungkook turned around and gave Taehyung a bear hug, kissing just below his chest.

     “Because I didn’t know if you liked them or not, and I want to look good for you.” He could hear Taehyung chuckle before pulling back to gaze at Jungkook.

    “I’ll always think you look good, no matter what you wear,” Taehyung spoke the truth because he really just loved Jungkook that much. No matter what the younger boy did, his feelings would never change. Jungkook laughed slightly, brushing off the comment. Spinning on his heels, Jungkook turned and kept on looking for Minjae. Taehyung followed suit, slightly hating that Jungkook wanted to look for the older guy.  _ What if Jungkook starts to like him? What if- _

     “Minjae, we’ve all been looking for you.” Taehyung looked up at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, and the younger boy stopped to put his hands on his hips. Running slightly into the halted boy, Taehyung made it a point to wrap his arms possessively around Jungkook’s waist. Minjae let out an audible sigh accompanied with an eye roll, and they all turned around to walk to the front of the store where Mrs. Kim was waiting. They turned a few corners and stopped a few times before the short stature of Mrs. Kim came into view. She smiled at Jungkook kindly, before taking the clothes out of Minjae’s arms and placing them on the counter with the rest of her and Jungkook’s stuff.

     “Have a wonderful day Miss, and Mr.” The lady behind the desk nodded politely at Taehyung’s mother but looked a little differently towards Taehyung himself. On the other hand, Taehyung nodded with a small smile before reaching out his hand for Jungkook to hold. His bunny smile showed proud upon realizing that Taehyung wanted to hold his hand in public, and he excitedly took it, smiling. The lady at the counter just showed some googly eyes, probably assuming Jungkook was his little brother. As they all stepped out of the store, hit with yet another blast of warm air, Mrs. Kim turned to Jungkook.

     “Kookie, where would you like to go next?” Jungkook really hated making decisions like this, since he didn’t know as much as the other three did when it came to shopping. Of course, he’d spent pretty much all of his birthdays in the Kim household, so he did get taken shopping frequently, but he didn’t know what the rest thought was convenient. Taehyung and he went to Zara frequently, so he thought that was probably a safe choice. There was a lot of super pretty stuff there too, so it was nice for Jungkook to be able to express his feminine side even more.

     “We haven’t been to Zara in a while, so we could pop in there?” Jungkook shyly suggested, even though he knew they probably wouldn’t object, he still had that feeling in the back of his mind. There were many American and European originated stores in this mall, and those were the ones Taehyung talked about most, so Jungkook had begun to familiarize with them. Mrs. Kim nodded and Taehyung ruffled his hair, proud that the younger boy had come to terms with deciding. The Zara was close, they only had to walk a short distance to reach the entrance. The music was just loud enough so that Jungkook would have to raise his voice slightly to announce that he wanted Taehyung to pick something out for him. Once Taehyung left with a forced Minjae, the duo ran over to the women’s section to quickly look for and possibly pick out something that Jungkook would like.

     There was a pretty blue button down with lace around the top half. Jungkook absolutely adored the shirt, and a fond smile came across Mrs. Kim’s face when she saw how immersed the boy was. They decided to check out the one shirt quickly, and the same excuse would be used again, ‘Eomma liked it, so she bought it.’ Taehyung would most likely be upset, but who cares if Jungkook got a shirt he loved? It was for the better to keep sending out white lies to the boys since Jungkook had no idea how Taehyung or Minjae would react since it would most likely be known by both of them if they only told one. The two tended to be rather loud.

     “Eomeoni, are you seriously buying stuff for yourself again? I thought we had gone over this, it’s  _ Jungkook’s _ day.” Jungkook felt bad for lying, but he really didn’t want his hyung to be upset or surprised by any of this. What if he didn’t like the idea of Jungkook in more feminine products? What if it weirded him out? Although he did say he really wouldn’t mind whatever Jungkook was wearing, it petrified him to the point where the only person he felt comfortable telling was a woman, since a woman would get it. They would get the need to feel feminine every once in awhile, even if it wasn’t how you dressed or made your appearance.

     “Taehyung, don’t worry about it. Take Kookie with you and have him figure out his sizes. He’s grown.” Mrs. Kim was a master at figuring out any changes with her boys, especially with how small Jungkook was. It didn’t take long for her to notice changes in attitude, too. You could say she was a true mom. Maybe that was normal for mothers, but Jungkook wasn’t too keen at recognizing what a ‘true mom’ would do. Anywho, it was pretty obvious how angry Taehyung was. At the use of ‘eomeoni’, both Mrs. Kim herself and Jungkook knew what that meant. It really sucked when Taehyung was in a bad mood because he was always so happy. It was like his aura could put anyone else in his mood. Jungkook gave a small smile, walking over to intertwine his hand with the bigger one.

     “Hyung, it’s fine.” The urge to tell his hyung was stabbing Jungkook repeatedly in the heart, but the scariness of the situation was there too. Looking over at Mrs. Kim, Jungkook shot her a glance, asking for advice with his eyes. A slight nod was given, and the grip on Taehyung’s hand became tighter. Taehyung didn’t squeeze back, instead put his hand on the small of Jungkook’s back, rubbing slow circles. Sensing the anxiety, Taehyung immediately brought Jungkook slightly closer.

     “Breathe, I’m here, Gguk.” Those simple words brought Jungkook’s composure back for a moment before he remembered what he needed to do. He looked up at Taehyung, tugging on his coat. Cautious eyes glanced back down at him, concern written like an essay across his face. Jungkook nodded towards the exit of the Zara they were in, then mouthed the word, ‘Bathroom’. That was their codeword if Jungkook needed to calm down or exit the situation. The phrase wasn’t confused with the actual need to use the washroom since they made it an obligation to always say, ‘ _ I need  _ to pee/go to the bathroom/piss.’ “Eomeoni, bathroom.” Of course, Mrs. Kim knew about it. A look came across her face, and she nodded before watching them exit the store to the nearest bench.

“Daddy I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.” A hungry look flashed in Taehyung’s eyes at the sound of his new nickname for a split second before the concern was back. Even in situations like these, Jungkook never failed to surprise his hyung. If it was his choice of words, his actions, or even his opinions on things. Taehyung shoved a hand in Jungkook’s coat pocket, breathing in his scent.

     “Don’t apologize, I’m here for you now.” Taehyung sneakily wrapped his arm around the latter’s waist, hiding it with their coats. Jungkook relaxed, leaning into his hyung.  _ You have to tell him sooner or later. _ Jungkook had even gotten the okay from Mrs. Kim, so why was he still so afraid of telling him? It’s not like he was going to reject him and make him return the clothes, right? There’s no way Taehyung would do anything even remotely out of line, so why wait?   


     “Daddy there’s something that I have to tell you. The clothes weren’t for your mom, they were for me. I- I just liked them and I didn’t want you to have to be embarrassed. And I didn’t want Minjae to find out.” Jungkook finished his confession without taking another breath, not having realized he was holding it. He was afraid to look up, so Taehyung fixed that for him. A hand was placed on his chin and his face was brought up to look at his hyung.

     “Princess, there’s nothing that you have to be afraid of. Why didn’t you tell me?”

     “I was embarrassed, hyung. I didn’t want to upset you.” Taehyung shook his head, leaning his forehead down to connect the two.

     “You’ll never upset me Jungkook. Not with something as silly as that.” He brought his hand away from the side of his face and up to ruffle the teenager’s hair. He leaned into the slight touch, wanting Taehyung’s warm hands to be all over. They sat there for a while, hand in hand until their cute moment was rudely interrupted by jealousy.

     “Oi, let’s get going now.” Minjae took his hand out of his coat pocket and nodded towards an approaching Mrs. Kim. Jungkook gave her a bright smile and a nod, letting her know that everything went fine. The three boys could hear her sigh of relief upon the smile, but only Jungkook knowing the meaning behind it. Mrs. Kim handed Taehyung the bag, who gladly took it, knowing the newfound secret. The mother and son shared a look, that protective quality they shared was turned into a look right then and there, one that said, ‘Please protect him when I can’t.’ And that’s something they would carry on for a long time.

  
  
  
  
  


     Throughout the day, they did a lot more shopping for ‘Mrs. Kim’ and had a much better experience since Taehyung was helping them, and Minjae just seemed not to care. They’d been shopping for what seemed like hours and turned out to be five. Minjae complained about being hungry, and Jungkook decided that they could go eat something from the food court. There was an Isaac Toast Myeongdong, so the four of them agreed to have a quick lunch there. Unused to fast food, Mrs. Kim was mostly clueless on what to order, so she just got what Jungkook had gotten, just a basic sandwich. It was clear it wasn’t her favorite, but she ate in nonetheless. Jungkook and Taehyung shared a soda, while Mrs. Kim and Minjae had water bottles.

     Sharing food and drinks was something they’d done since they were children, so they wouldn’t have to spend as much money when they went out by themselves. Taehyung’s dad never trusted him with money on his own, and probably still didn’t, so they tried to use as little money as possible. It had just become a habit to share since then, and it was rather convenient. Taehyung and Jungkook tried each other’s sandwiches and sides, deciding if they wanted to trade halves or not, occasionally sipping the same Coca-Cola. They weren’t always this ‘love love love’ around each other but Taehyung was especially needy today, the jealousy ramping up his emotions. As Taehyung took a picture to post on his Snapchat, he realized Minjae’s hungry gaze towards something that wasn’t food.

     Jungkook. Snapping the picture, Taehyung posted it and set his phone down, clearing his throat and shooting Minjae a glare. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice, as he was focused on the conversation once again with Mrs. Kim. They were chatting about the mall and certain businesses within the mall that her husband’s company was working with. Jungkook imagined being the CEO of any company would be quite challenging, but Mr. Kim seemed to work extra hard towards his job, working nonstop. There wasn’t more than a week that he spent at home, and Jungkook had begun to put the pieces of an unpainted puzzle together. There was no doubt Mr. Kim was unfaithful towards his marriage, I mean, who wouldn’t notice?

     The stale blast of perfume whenever he would walk into the upstairs living room to say hello to the boys and the nonstop messages along with nobody but him allowed to see them. Even the dark red marks peeking out from his shirt collar were oh so obvious to the sixteen-year-old, and he was mainly just afraid to tell anyone. He could never tell Taehyung or Mrs. Kim, that would just be rude. Some might see it as the right thing to do, but it just frightened Jungkook at the possibility to see a woman whom he trusted so much turn on him, blaming him for whatever wrongdoings Mr. Kim had committed. He knew he probably should at least mention something to Taehyung, but he’d refrained so far. 

     “So Minjae, do you have a girlfriend?”  _ Why would hyung ask him that? _ Jungkook looked over at Taehyung, who just kept his gaze focused on Minjae. The older boy leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and fixing his own gaze on Jungkook. 

     “I think I’ve made it clear who I’m interested in, Taehyung.” The snarky response had the eighteen-year-old nearly growling, and he had to clench and unclench his fists repeatedly to keep himself from grabbing Jungkook and just walking straight out of there, but no. He couldn’t do that to his Jungkook, he didn’t deserve it. Jungkook checked the time  on his phone, realizing it was one thirty already. They were supposed to go out to dinner tonight, so Jungkook would need time to get ready.

     "We should probably head out now. It's already one thirty." Taehyung looked over at him, mouth still on their shared straw. Mrs. Kim nodded and Minjae kept his focus on whatever app he was checking on his phone. Being the gentleman he is, Taehyung stood up to throw everyone's trash away, Mrs. Kim and Jungkook standing to put their coats back on. Jungkook slipped the thick material back over his shoulders, unwrapping Taehyung's scarf from the chair. Once Taehyung sauntered back over to the table, Jungkook stood on his toes to be able to hook the warm scarf around his hyung's neck, returned with a warm smile. "Minjae hyung, we're leaving now." Jungkook called out with a fairly cheerful voice, slightly upset that the man was still on his phone.

     "Anything you need Jungkookie." Minjae winked, which Jungkook just smiled awkwardly at. How was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn't just be cold and he couldn't be friendly, so he just caught up to Taehyung and latched onto his hand. Threading their fingers together, Jungkook's hyung gave a slight squeeze and pulled Jungkook impossibly closer. Minjae kept his eyes on the two as if observing. Noticing his heavy gaze on Jungkook, Taehyung unlatched their hands and placed his own on the younger boy's rear. It earned a yelp and a quiet gasp from the sixteen-year-old before he slightly relaxed into the touch until his thigh was given a sharp pinch. 

     Taehyung moved his hand under Jungkook's thick coat, resting at the small of his back. They walked like this all the way to the front of the mall, where the three of them patiently waited for Minjae to drive the car back to their location. Taehyung looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders once the older boy had exited their vicinity, and slumped down onto Jungkook. It felt like an extra burden to Taehyung when Minjae was always trying to get close to Jungkook. The youngest himself didn't exactly know how to respond to any of it. He rocked back and forth on his heels, each time bumping into Taehyung. 

     They wanted to stay like this, in peaceful bliss, but it all ended too soon. A familiar honk sounded from outside, interrupting their moment. Mrs. Kim didn't seem too upset, as she picked up her bags once again and rushed on short legs over to the car. Minjae popped the trunk, stepping out to open the door for the woman. Taehyung reluctantly followed Jungkook to the snowy curb where an open door was waiting. The youngest got in first, followed by Taehyung who didn't forget to flash Minjae a look that Jungkook hadn't managed to catch.

     Sliding the panel shut once again, Taehyung set a large hand on Jungkook's knee, giving it a light squeeze before coming up to cup one side of his face and kissing the other. This sent the butterflies in Jungkook's stomach going  _wild_. He wasn't exactly sure why, considering they'd slept in the same bed while in their relationship already, but they way his hands touched Jungkook was nearly a sensation he hadn't felt before. It made arousal burn slightly in the pit of his stomach before the butterflies were gone as soon as they came.

     "Are you excited for tonight?" The deep voice spoke straight into Jungkook's ear, and for a second he didn't notice his phone going off like crazy in his pocket. Taehyung had to say something about it for Jungkook to notice. "Are you going to check that?" He patted Jungkook's thigh, his phone rapidly vibrating in his back pocket. A look of confusion and a struggle to pull out his phone had Taehyung chuckling, but it didn't last long. The messages were fairly alarming, and once they realized who they were from, it had Jungkook's heart thumping out of his chest. "Why the hell is your mom texting you?" The panel slid open to reveal a wide-eyed Mrs. Kim.

     "She did _what?_ " Mrs. Kim spoke as if someone had just stolen from her. Angry as hell.

mrs. jeon: Jeon Jeongguk where the hell are you?

mrs. jeon: Your father has no idea where you've been!

mrs. jeon: He says you hurt him and left!

mrs. jeon: Are you with that friend of yours?

mrs. jeon: I'm contacting Mrs. Kim if you don't respond

mrs. jeon: Why aren't you at home?

     Jungkook felt his head spinning, almost as if he was back on that playground equipment from when the boys were younger. He heard himself begin to hyperventilate and felt a hand steady him, another one rubbing circles onto his upper back. He couldn't fathom anything else right now besides the fact that he knew he was going to have to go back home. He was going to have to return to beatings and hateful words and they would find out. There's no way they wouldn't think Jungkook was gay, they knew him well enough.

     "What's going on back there? Is Ju-" Minjae began asking about the situation, but was immediately cut off.

     "Shut the hell up and get back as fast as you can, got it?" Taehyung barked out, shooting a positively deadly glare at the now terrified driver. Mrs. Jeon texting Jungkook gave Taehyung anxiety, but nothing _near_ as severe as what the youngest was currently feeling. It was almost like a drowning sensation, corrupting his thoughts along with his vision. Nothing pained Taehyung more to see Jungkook in this state. This state he knew Jungkook well enough to know that not even Taehyung could help him right now. He had always had to wait these attacks out, but they could last for hours.  

     "Yes, sir. Could I adjust anything to help, sir?" Minjae was pretty obviously terrified and was trying his best to help the situation. Taehyung nearly barked again, but he knew that wouldn't make Jungkook feel any better. He spoke with a forced gentle tone.

     "Turn the radio off, please." He spat out the words, turning his attention back to Jungkook. Still hyperventilating, Jungkook had his eyes shut tightly, clutched on as tightly as possible to Taehyung's muscular arm. "I need you to look at me, Gguk." Jungkook shook his head, afraid that his hyung might be able to see behind his eyes. "Okay, you don't have to look at me, that's fine. Keep your eyes closed and breathe with me, okay?" No response. Assuming that was a maybe, Taehyung spoke out loud as he took deep breaths. "In, and out. In, and out. In, and out." He spoke quietly enough so that when Jungkook had started to control his breathing, he was able to hear.

     Once Jungkook's breathing had slowed down significantly, Taehyung started to run his hand up and down the youngest's arm. Tracing imaginary veins and random patterns, Taehyung began singing. Quietly into Jungkook's ear, he knew how much the ladder loved it when his hyung sang. He never sang for anyone except for Jungkook and his own mother, so when Mrs. Kim heard the deep voice singing Jungkook a peaceful lullaby, an adoring look crossed her features. Minjae stood true to his words and got them home in a matter of about six minutes, and Taehyung carried Jungkook all the way upstairs, bridal style

     Taehyung was singing 'Island Baby', his deep voice contrasting nicely with Jungkook's higher one. Jungkook found himself relaxing in Taehyung's arms, under the cool covers of his comfy bed. He liked the way he could feel Taehyung's deep voice enter his ears and reverberate in his chest. Without realizing it, Jungkook had begun to sing along. It took about twenty more minutes until Jungkook felt calm again, and they heard a knock at the door. It made Jungkook jump and Taehyung wrap his long arms tighter around the small boy.

     "Kookie? I made your hot chocolate and I brought a surprise." Mrs. Kim's words resounded loud and clear in both of their ears, even though she was speaking softly. Jungkook didn't really like the sound of surprises right now, but Taehyung gave him a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.

     "Come in, eomma." Taehyung sat up, pulling Jungkook with him. The older of the two scooched over to seat himself on the end of the bed, motioning for Jungkook to sit on his lap. He did, pulling a fuzzy blanket with him. Mrs. Kim opened the door, a stuffed rabbit in one hand and a mug in the other. Jungkook looked up, nearly bouncing on Taehyung's knee at the smell of chocolate wafting towards him. That made Mrs. Kim smile, seeing him with that happy expression. The look on Taehyung's face seemed satisfied at his work, him being the one who helped Jungkook calm down.

     "Thank you eomma." Jungkook said, gently taking the stuffed animal and admiring it. He hugged it to his chest, Taehyung mimicking the action on Jungkook instead. Mrs. Kim nodded, patting his head before sitting down at Taehyung's desk.

     "If you're up for it Jeongguk, we could have a spa day and skip dinner?" As fucking lovely as that sounded, Jungkook knew how badly Taehyung was looking forward to going to dinner with them tonight. He couldn't just skip out on dinner. Besides, they could make any day spa day.

     "No no, we can still go to dinner. How about tomorrow we can have a spa day?" Jungkook sipped his hot chocolate, at which Mrs. Kim nodded and Taehyung hummed against his neck in agreement. As Jungkook finished his hot chocolate and pondered over a name for his new stuffed rabbit, Mrs. Kim was pondering herself. There must be some other way to cheer Jungkook up, right? Right.

     "Do you want to try on your clothes and show us, Kookie?" It might come off as badgering to the latter, but she just wanted to make sure he had a distraction to the situation at hand. _Mrs. Jeon_ wasn't going to take away her Kookie's happiness. It was silly since she wasn't even his real mother, yet she still felt the need to give Jungkook a better household than what he'd grown up with. Her sole purpose ever since she'd learned of the sixteen-year old's situation was to keep him out of harm's way. 

     "If that's okay with you guys?" Taehyung had noticed the smaller boy perk up from his position in between his legs. Jungkook had one leg strewn over Taehyung's own, so the older of the two took it upon himself to run a careless hand up and down the leg that was on top of him. Getting dangerously close to Jungkook's crotch, Taehyung nodded. Jungkook tried to get up so he wouldn't pop an embarrassing hard on right in front of Mrs. Kim, but the buff arm around his waist stayed put.

     "Not yet. You keep me warm." Taehyung mumbled against Jungkook's neck with that deep, scratchy voice of his. Okay, avoiding a boner is going to be at least five times more difficult with Taehyung acting like that. No wonder every single girl ever had drooled over him once or twice. What a flirt.

     "Hyuuuung." Jungkook whined at the wet kisses being placed at the nape of his neck. Mrs. Kim cleared her throat, silently cursing her son for his flirtatious behavior.

     "I'll go get the bags." Mrs. Kim scurried out, shutting the door behind her. As soon as they heard her footsteps fading, Taehyung resumed attacking the back of Jungkook's neck, kisses rougher this time. Jungkook felt that same arousal burning in his stomach, now appearing in between his legs. Grinding up against Jungkook, Taehyung sucked a hickey right where everyone could see. A soft moan slipped from dry lips, pressing down against the hips that were pressing into his rear. Peering over Jungkook's shoulder, Taehyung noticed the growing bulge in the younger boy's jeans.

     "You're hard?" The laugh accompanied by this statement was barely one, more like a grumble in the back of his throat.

     "You're Taehyung." Jungkook laid his head down on Taehyung's shoulder, letting his hands roam wherever they wanted to. Reaching over to palm the erection in his boyfriend's jeans, the younger had to bite his lip to keep himself from letting out dangerous noises. Noticing the tiny noises and the obvious struggle, the eldest took it upon himself to turn Jungkook's head to the side and kiss his closed mouth gently.

     "You can be as loud as you want to, princess. We can-" Sure, he could be as loud as he wanted to but not at the moment.

     "Jeongguk, why don't you come out here and change and then we can show Tae?" Mrs. Kim had opened the door without knocking, expecting a worse scene than what she got. Jungkook was covered with a blanket, Taehyung's arms tightly around his waist. Jungkook rapidly nodded, maybe the sound of his brain shaking around in his skull would distract her from the roaring heartbeat in his chest. 

     "One second, eomma. We have to talk for a minute." Mrs. Kim smiled and nodded, not suspecting a thing. How could she? For all she knew, Jungkook was just anxious again, and Taehyung was helping him out. Her boys had never let go of that bond, always helping each other out no matter the situation. Before they had started to get really close, Mrs. Kim had thought nothing of it, two close friends who looked out for each other. The moments where they got extremely close did raise her suspicions, but not when they had been under the age of ten.

     As for times when Jungkook would look at Taehyung with the biggest googly eyes she'd ever seen, or when Taehyung wouldn't focus on anyone but Jungkook and the tiny little things he did, she knew. That was when they had gotten older, and that's when Mrs. Kim had become positive. She knew that they had feelings for each other, and when Taehyung came out to his mother about his feelings for Jungkook, she was nothing but ecstatic. She supported the idea to no end but had gotten thoroughly upset when Taehyung had refused to say anything about his love towards the boy. She always knew Taehyung would get his way with Jungkook.

     She shut the door, the two of them waiting as they had the last time. Once they were sure she had gone downstairs, Taehyung immediately pushed Jungkook so that he was standing. Getting up himself, the older of the two reached for the button and zipper on Jungkook's tight pants. Holding on to Taehyung's shirt for dear life, Jungkook found himself shaking, completely at the will of his lover. He felt some crazy butterflies going on in his stomach, along with his heart thumping wildly once again.

     "Shame I have to take these off. They made your ass look perfect. Although, I bet it looks better without any jeans." Whimpering at his words, Jungkook kept his sass even in situations like these.

     "Y-you've mentioned it." He instantly regretted it, a sharp pinch to his now bare thigh delivered quickly. Taehyung resumed their previous position, now against the headboard with Jungkook in between his thighs. Jungkook's bottom half was bare except for his briefs, restricting his fully hard member now. Without warning, his briefs were shoved down and off, which had Jungkook hazy with pleasure but squealing in embarrassment. Covering himself as quickly as possible with his hands, colliding his knees together. Taehyung bit his shoulder in response, at which Jungkook let out a rather sensual moan at. He was fairly sensitive in this state.

     "Don't be nervous, princess. You're absolutely perfect to me, inside and out." He still didn't move his hands away, until Taehyung had to move his arms for him, revealing his average manhood. "You're gorgeous, princess. I love you. I love you more than anything." Taehyung placed sensual kisses on his neck, kisses that made Jungkook shiver. Closing his eyes and leaning his head back, Jungkook let loud moans rip from his throat upon Taehyung wrapping his hand around Jungkook's dick. His long, talented fingers began pumping his boyfriend's erection, relishing in every sound that came out of his mouth. "What's my name, princess?"

     "D-daddy! Mmh, daddy." It took everything in his power not to thrust into Taehyung's hand for some extra friction, but he got what he needed once Taehyung quickened the pace. Normal Jungkook would probably find it incredibly embarrassing to be moaning this much from a simple handjob, but he couldn't help it. He was  _loud._ Normal Taehyung would have probably been extremely concerned about Jungkook's anxiety at the moment, but he seemed to be enjoying it enough.  _Am I that talented or is Jungkook this loud?_

     Being someone who rarely pleasures himself, Jungkook couldn't hold back the whiny moans that never stopped leaving his wet lips. Taehyung absolutely loved it. Desperate to provide some relief for his own hard on, he began grinding up against Jungkook's tight little ass, trying his hardest  _not_ to cum. Jungkook, however, would not make it much farther. The deep, quiet little moans coming from Taehyung set him right on the edge, and he knew he was done for.

     "Daddy, I'm g-gonna, gonna cum." Taehyung also found himself dangerously, surprisingly on edge today. He'd never been this way with any girl before, and the pleasure was more intense than anything he'd ever felt. It was easily addicting, and he knew he shouldn't let himself go so soon, but this was about Jungkook, not himself.

     "Cum for me, princess. Cum for your daddy." That was all it took, Jungkook was thrusting up into the hand wrapped around his dick, releasing with Taehyung's name on his lips. Taehyung released, too. With his damn  _jeans on._ Boy does Jungkook really make him crazy. The two of them rode out their orgasms, Jungkook lifting his hips for that delicious extra friction. Jungkook felt his heartbeat start to slow down, and he turned himself around to straddle his hyung's hips. Kissing the living hell out of Taehyung, he failed to notice the wet patch in the front of his jeans until his thigh brushed across it. 

     "Hyung did you...?" Taehyung nodded, ears beginning to burn. That made Jungkook giggle, touching the hickey at the back of his neck. He wanted more of those. He wanted them all over, he wanted Taehyung to claim what was his in loving bite marks, but he just didn't know how to say that, so he didn't. They laid together for a bit before Jungkook decided to grab a pair of Taehyung's boxers and the older boy to change his jeans, along with throwing the blanket in his dirty laundry, walking into the bathroom to wash the semen off of his hands. 

      He came back to Jungkook seated on the bed, rubbing his head against Taehyung's pillow. He was attempting to drink in as much of Taehyung's manly musk as possible, feeling especially needy. He instantly wrapped himself around Taehyung, placing loving kisses wherever his mouth was closest to. After about five minutes, Mrs. Kim knocked on the door once again.

     "You boys ready?" Taehyung replied with a yes, Jungkook still hidden in his sweatshirt. He was about to nudge Jungkook so that he could go and try on his clothes, but he was asleep. Fast asleep in his hyung's arms, tuckered out over their intense moment. Although Taehyung had wanted to see Jungkook try on his new outfits, he just looked so peaceful. So peaceful after such a hectic night, and the older boy couldn't help but be proud of Jungkook. He'd never recovered this quickly after that type of attack, and there was something about the way Jungkook had put all of his trust in his hyung.

      Jungkook never usually wanted to be so close to someone during an anxiety attack, and it was pretty rare for the boy to be attached to Taehyung the entire time. Not that Taehyung didn't welcome it completely, just found it strange. So as Jungkook drifted off further, he didn't fail to miss the kiss to the hickey he had previously placed on Jungkook's neck. And for the first time in a while, Jungkook was truly happy.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

HI, SO that was my first time writing actual smutt so if y'all got any suggestions hit up the instagram (check the notes) BUtttt I should post either a week from now or thursday ;)

Also, thank you guys for the comments lmao I don't deserve them I don't even post like I should so thank you again ❤

 

**Author's Note:**

> Pleasse support and leave feedback :) I'll post weekly but forgive me if I'm slightly late I'm usually really busy and the spare time I have is dedicated to my writing. I'm a beginner and this is my first time attempting to write eventual smut but I'll try my hardest!! Hwaiting ᕮ ⸟ ᴥ ⸟ ᕭ Also, my friend Sky wrote a couple things in the first chapter, so I'll give credit to her here because she doesn't have an ao3 account.


End file.
